How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3436
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
TherapistJen is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am in my 2nd marraige and my spouse is a real genuine person.

This answer was rated:

I am in my 2nd marraige and my spouse is a real genuine person. She has taken a very motherly role with my children from the moment their real mother stepped out on them. She is a great person however lately I have felt unattracted to her and unhappy in my relationship. Not exactly sure if it is anything she did or not but I feel that I need to do something because the feelings I have been having are becoming overwhelming. My previous wife was unhappy and chose not to address the issues, instead she had a series of affairs that lasted 2 years. I am not going to do that to my wife but I feel that I need to do something. But how am I supposed to talk to her about something like this? For all she knows everything is fine and we are a happy couple. She has been so good to me and my children and I cannot fathom dropping something like this on her. I need advice.
Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

I do appreciate your openness about these feelings of yours. I also understand that you do not want to drop something like this on her especially since she may not be aware that there is anything wrong or missing in the relationship. She sounds like a wonderful woman and mother to your children, but all that aside, that doesn't mean that something can't be lacking for you.

I might suggest that before you speak with her, you take the time to explore your feelings and you might try doing that in the safe and confidential environment of a therapist. This way, it is your time and your pace to really explore what may be changing for you and how this relationship may be feeling more like a deep friendship rather than a love relationship. A good therapist will help you explore what other things may be going on for you and how your experience with your first wife could be having an impact here. Let me know if this is something that you could do...find a therapist. I would be glad to help you locate one if you provide me with your zip code.

In the meantime, go easy on yourself because you sound like a lovely man and the guilt you may be feeling won't help you in understanding what is going on for you. I look forward to hearing back from you.
TherapistJen and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you for your response and your insight. I was thinking that this may be the best option as well. I would like some help finding a therapist. My zip is 33837.

I am glad you feel the same. You deserve that place to be free with your emotions and free to explore what it all means. I will provide you with two links and please explore them both and call both to get a feel for what feels right. Sometimes having a consultation with both also helps so you can gain a sense of comfort. Here is the first one.

And another.

The first person is a woman and the second a man. Please let me know how else I might support you. Please go easy on yourself. I am here.