Hi! I'll be glad to be of help with this issue.
I can imagine how distressing this situation must be for you. You are clearly a loving and caring woman. You've tried hard to make this work given his changes emotionally. That is very, very difficult.
It sounds as though he also loves you and wants to make the marriage work. And so it would be a tragedy if the marriage dissolves because the two of you don't have a way to communicate effectively. Because it sounds as though he doesn't have a way to release his worries and emotions. That would be consistent with a diagnosis of PTSD.
Given how serious his condition is, I don't think that self help tools are going to be enough to get through this problem. The two of you need professional help in how to adjust to the new (relatively new) situation in your marriage. You two need help in communicating more positively and effectively.
He may also need individual therapy to help him, but couples therapy is crucial as the place for the two of you to start. Here is an online therapist finder for Australia that I like because you can see a picture of the person and read about them a bit. Seek out someone who does couples therapy. I hope there is someone in your area. Interview the therapist first and make sure you feel comfortable and confident with him/her.
The Australian Psychological Society has a search. Scroll down and put in self-esteem in the search window.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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