Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship
This answer was rated:

Dear XXXXX; You answered most of my questions April 19th but

Dear XXXXX; You answered most...

Dear XXXXX; You answered most of my questions April 19th but I am still concerned why she was so unhappy, with me after I told her about my finance deal.which she stated I was hiding from her for the past nineteen years. After I told her and admitted I should have told her long ago she did not forgive or forget but brought it all the time for two years. She was still unhappy with me then to the point of seeing a lawyer about a divorce. I was doing everything she wanted me to do as a good loving husband, Was she involved with someone else or talking with someone about how unhappy she still was at this time If you remember my is a control person she goes does and sees who and what ever she wants to do. I am invited but if I do not want to go she goes any way. She is very active in charities and different organization therefore has many opportunities to see and be with many men. She is very attractive and has a turn on personality and an extravert.We are still married, WM B XXXXXX

Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 2 hours by:
8/6/2013
Josie-Mod
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5
Verified
Hi, I'm Josie and I am a moderator for this topic. I sent your requested professional a message to follow up with you here, when she is back online.

If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience.
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7,664
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Verified
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear XXXXX,

I believe that I can help.

Back on your 27th anniversary she "feigned" a confession of marital infidelity. It was not the first time that she has done this. At the time I thought that she was just trying to tease and arouse you, but I see that she has done it before. She also leads a lifestyle that gives her ample opportunity to meet other men, and is an extroverted, and perhaps flirtatious woman.

She also seems to be a very manipulative and unforgiving person and has used your mistake of withholding financial information from her as a means of further dominating you.

I suspect that she may have a Histrionic Personality Disorder. That is a hunch based on what I know of her from some of your past questions, but I will let you decide. Here are the psychiatric manual criteria for HPD:

(DSM IV - TR) HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER


A pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:


(1) is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention


(2) interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior

(3) displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions


(4) consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self


(5) has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail


(6) shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion


(7) is suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances


(8) considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are



She may be involved with someone else, but may just be getting advice which she takes too seriously (she may be very suggestible).

She is a difficult person and you may never be able to fully please her, or her please you. It is all a matter of how much you can live with. You do not have a very fulfilling relationship, it appears. You must decide if you want to continue (if you can) or to start a new chapter in your life.

I wish you great wisdom and courage in deciding and shall keep you in my prayers to that end.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC


Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7,664
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Verified
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,852
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Verified
Thank you for your question. I do remember helping you in April and I am here to help you now. The reason why she is still very upset is she feels that you hide your finances from her. She feel like this was something you should have told her before you both began a committed relationship. But that is hard to come right out and tell her about your past finances because you did not want her to look at you any different. Most people do not tell people about their past because they are afraid that they will lose the person. So people often feel that their past is something they will continue to handle on their own. People often feel that they should not burden their new partners with their problems that they had before they met. But she felt that you should have told her about everything before you were married. She feels like you broke her trust, so you need to tell her why you did what you did and that this can all be repaired. You want to share with her pieces of your life so that she feels like you are opening up too her. She might have felt like you did not trust her enough to share that part of your life like you were keeping it from her. She felt excluded from that past of your life. She might have wanted to know also so that she maybe could have gave her opinion. People like to feel like they are in control of their lives and I feel she felt like she didn't have control over something she knew nothing about. So I want you to explain why you did not tell her, why you decided to handle it on your own. I want you to put your feelings out their and tell her how you feel. Help her understand, right now she is just still upset that this has happened, but if you open up I feel she might see things differently. Thank you again for your question.
Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,852
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Verified
Dear Debra and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 4 years ago

Dear XXXXX; I am still wondering about why my wife told me about her almost affair and since that time she has been kind, considerate and sexy. The past 27 years she has not been that way. especially not sexy . I thought I was married to Mother Superior that is why I was so surprised when she told me about her almost affair I would like your honest and truthful opinion why the complete change Bill

Thank you for your question. This can happen people can sudden and being more physically attracted to their spouse. Marriages go through so many changes. Some times it takes time for someone to feel comfortable sexually. Often times when changes happen it is because they feel good about themselves. People who lose weight, people who are happy and are just loving life. I think her almost affair has made her realize that you are the one she wanted and having an affair would be a mistake. I feel she is very happy in her marriage and she is showing you another side of her personality. I feel she feels comfortable to be and feel sexy. I think she has realized a lot and see the marriage different. People often can fall deeper in love when they have been together for a long time. People can hit tough times in a marriage only to solve their problems and fall in love all over again making the relationship even stronger. I feel like your wife feels like her marriage has been renewed. Its like you both are first dating again. This is a renew in your marriage. Its time for you both to enjoy these special moments and focus on each other. Thank you again for your question.
Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,852
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Verified
Dear Debra and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask Dear Debra Your Own Question
Dear Debra
Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,852
1,852 Satisfied Customers
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.

Dear Debra is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,720 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

338 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
I would like to know something. My wife of 35 yrs received a
my wife of 35 yrs received a very intimate necklace fro m anoth er women and she told her she was drawing inspiration from her just by wearing it what does that mean … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Mine is a pretty tricky but story. So I met this guy on
Hi Debra, Mine is a pretty tricky but long story. So I met this guy on Tinder, he was lovely. Our first date was amazing... we spoke for three weeks 24/7 before actually meeting up. There was an insta… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I have trouble getting along with my husband. We has mood
I have trouble getting along with my husband. We has mood swings. He is about to start a new job at a branch of Verizon (used to work at another branch) so we were talking in the car and he said he ha… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
My boyfriend and I fought over him maybe talking to his ex,
My boyfriend and I fought over him maybe talking to his ex, I kept texting him till he said leave me alone and then broke up with me.. can I get him back … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months and I love
me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months and I love him dearly, well on Tuesday something happened when I was texting one of my guy friends I didn't physically cheat on him, and there was no … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have a new man in my life I have been dating for about 6
Jen, I have a new man in my life I have been dating for about 6 weeks. We see each other twice a week. He deeply cares for me and loves me. I also have love for him. I struggle with his immaturity. So… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
While telling me he is in love with someone else, he says he
While telling me he is in love with someone else, he says he cares about me. … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I have seen ads for professional snugglers, cuddlers, and
I have seen ads for professional snugglers, cuddlers, and cuddle clubs. Is this a bad idea to be touching someone who you don't know and have no specific reason to care about? My wife and I experience… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
56 satisfied customers
I found out my time boyfriend had a nine month affair with
I found out my long time boyfriend had a nine month affair with younger girl at work..fell in love with her and wanted to start a life..I contacted new girlfriend (who did not know about me..she fille… read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
I have a question that pertains to compromising in a
Hi,I have a question that pertains to compromising in a marriage. I'll start by saying when I meant my wife I was open to moving out of state. We got married and last year my company relocated to NC f… read more
P. Simmons
P. Simmons
Attorney
Doctoral Degree
35,283 satisfied customers
I married into a bunch of nieces and nephews on my husband's
Hello, I married into a bunch of nieces and nephews on my husband's side. Some of the nieces are my age or older, so it is not as if we have had a history together. They were already adults when we me… read more
Schuyler
Schuyler
1,944 satisfied customers
I have a question that pertains to compromising in a
Hi, I have a question that pertains to compromising in a marriage. I'll start by saying when I meant my wife I was open to moving out of state. We got married and last year my company relocated to NC … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I'm going to try and make this as short as i can. So about 3
OK so i'm going to try and make this as short as i can. So about 3 and a half months ago me and my girlfriend of a year broke up. The reason being was i cheated on her, i didn't meet up with anyone, k… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have no mother in law experience for various reasons and
I have no mother in law experience for various reasons and am in my mid 50s. Do I need help?… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I need to apologize to the love of my life. Im a gay man I
Im a gay man I hurt my boyfriends feeling repeatedly … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
My guy friend says he doesn't deserve me. But then tells me
My guy friend says he doesn't deserve me. But then tells me he's afraid of losing me. He tells me I'm around too much then when I leave says stay. He's nice and cinsuferste one day then the next he's … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My long-time partner has never gotten over the fact that I
My long-time partner has never gotten over the fact that I had prior sexual experience. I used to think it was insecurity on his part but he honestly hasn't been able to become aroused by me since fin… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
How are you? I have been in a relationship with a 50 year
I have been in a relationship with a 50 year old woman. She seamed all into one me butt she started to get flakey. She didn't show up a couple of times. I asked her if she was seeing someone else. She said no. We have stopped seeing each other and I keep texting. She reading them and sometimes replies. It's almost like she don't respect me. What do I do? … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x