I wrote a bunch more as a revision while you were writing, but I've saved it and I'll answer you first. Your mother is NOT CONSCIOUS of what she is doing, so she believes she loves you. But you see her ACTIONS: she never sees anything you have done for her. And she doesn't "see" your accomplishments even though she's pushed you to reach them. For to really "see" your accomplishments, your doing for her, and your human strengths and weaknesses WITH EMPATHIC APPRECIATION would be to "mirror" or "admire" you, and she can't do that because she has a void of self-appreciation inside of herself, so she has to suck in others' admiration, esp husband and daughters to try to "see" herself in your admiring eyes.
So one big shift towards more sophisticated understanding of human nature you'll need to make to understand what I'm writing is the realize that most of what we DO is unconsciously powered. So she THINKS she really loves you, as she may also think she really worships God, but, like your boyfriend, she doesn't really KNOW you because she doesn't SEE you with empathic appreciation, and she probably doesn't have a direct connection to her version of God either, except for conventional words she picks up from a priest--because dreams and very patient, loving and intuitive prayer are true paths to an ego-higherpower dialogue.
One of the most influential books for people thinking about the Jungian growth path is Jung's partial autobiography Memories, Dreams, Reflections. There are also a great many very good Jungian books for youngish women that are written by middle aged female Jungian analysts. I will think about which of those to recommend, esp since my wife Pamela has read most of them--but she can't think of any about the negative mother now (she's more interested in making and selling jewelry online and basically "retired" from doing therapy).
Your mother is throwing bits of preferential love around that might make the sisters want to think they're "better" and thus become toxic to each other; but the foundation of that all is that she doesn't love anyone properly for their own being and not for her efforts to make herself feel like she IS somebody IMPORTANT. The daughters that stay close to home will get preferred, because they do more "admiring" of mom. But you're also the lucky one, because the middleborn child is also the most likely to need to go far away from the family, because she needs to be somewhere where nobody can compare her to anybody else in her family for her to get the maximum chance for recognition (admiration) for herself as an individual. But you won't get a lot of admiration if you're still performing the way your mom seems to have wanted you to perform for an approval that isn't of your real self. On the other hand it's good you have an accounting career, because you'll always be able to support yourself, so you can learn and try out other things without starving in the process. And, like a client I had back in the early 1990s in Florida (where my wife&daughter & I lived from 1987-2012), you might use your accounting skills and well-developed people-pleasing skills to move into working with an organization that does more of what you're getting interested in as you grow a more personally relevant adult self to replace your mother-bound provisional self. (Everybody develops a provisional self in order to make it into adulthood, and age 30 is the beginning of transition toward the real self. Though some people are so successful with their 20something provisional self that they don't start to redesign themselves until midlife (40s) crisis. And you have the crisis/opportunity before marriage, which sure beats what your mother went thru. But she'll get really jealous and critical if you postpone motherhood longer than she wants AND break free of her controlling you by never quite approving enough.
Another thing about the therapist: Make sure she or he's really good at dream interpretation, because not anywhere near all Jungian therapists are good.at dreams. This is important, because dreams come from a higher power, so if the therapist is able to be true to the dream as an inner wisdom from higher power, then the therapist will be less likely to make mistakes with your soul development based on her or his own projected hopes for you.
I could work with you myself bia Skype, as my wife works with 2 former students of mine, one in Saudi Arabia and one in Western Australia. Your NZ salary would probably go further towards my flexible fees than in NZ too. But I want you to have a chance at a really good Jungian therapist who you can see face to face, as my wife saw both of these young men before they returned to their home countries. I take very seriously my responsibility to guide you towards what's most useful and, if necessary cost-effective for you. This kind of therapy is a gift of grace, because it activates your connection to Higher Power (aka God--but if you're not Catholic, just HP), and a vanishingly small % of modern people are even aware of the values of it, so in USA most clients want short-cuts. Jungian is strong in UK though; and 12 members in New Zealand is more than I expected. I hope it will work for you to see a Jungian in NZ, with age, dream interpretation, experience, having had personal therapy and having therapeutic supervision with a colleague more important than female gender. But if money is a major factor, or you don't feel a good connection with the people near enough to you (Auckland & ChristChurch sound pretty good) I would be happy to work with you, and I could continue whenever you're back in the Philippines. You might well have an easier time working with a man than with a woman as you're getting acclimated to inner work. Do you sometimes remember your dreams? Would you be willing to write them down?