Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help.
You have three years invested in this relationship and you are understandably at the end of your patience.
She has an attachment problem to her father and also a sexual problem that needs the attention of a certified sex therapist, who is a licensed mental health therapist with additional training and national certification. The best therapists are members of and certified by AASECT.
I would contact your nearest therapist at:AASECT - Member Directory
Click on your state and choose someone.
If you cannot find anyone close enough, go to www.psychologytoday.com, enter your city and state, and choose marriage and family therapists or sex therapists and then read carefully as to who is actually the most qualified professional. You can tell.
Make an appointment on a day that you know she will be free for the BOTH of you to attend.
Tell her that you have made the appointment and that this is the last opportunity to save the relationship. Tell her if she goes then you will try to work it out with her, but if she does not then you will not have contact with her any longer. It is HER choice.
If she goes then there is a good chance that this problem can be solved. If not then the problem will dissolve along with the relationship.
I wish you both success and shall keep you in my prayers.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC