Dear Al, I had to switch to this format, because the system shut off Chat, but that won't slow us down. I'm also going to the gym for a workout, because my heart needs it. Here are the main principles of the remodeling process for porn scenes: 1. You need to build up ways your girlfriend can look and behave that are sexy FOR HER and for you, so you'll increase the power of her own allure to capture, arouse and consummate your erotic volcano-eruption. If sexy lingerie have power for you, you can toy with "lingerie events" that you both get off on--like joining her in the dressing room at Victoria's Secrets for a test-lookfeel. 2. (More difficult step) You need to practice using your past porn turn-on imagery only to the point of being well lit inside, and then switching your fantasy, eyes still closed, to what's a practiced turn-on by looking at, touching, kissing etc HER. It's likely that some, perhaps many of your more "forbidden turn-ons" will have to be dropped out of your repertoire through DISUSE and being replaced with more flexible imagery that will allow you to switch it to what fits with your real interaction with your girlfriend (that you've been expanding in step 1). You can practice these switches with eyesclosed and also with eyes opening up to her precious reality that you hold in your hands. 3. You might have also habituated yourself to coming very quickly in some fantasies, and if so, you may want to retard ejaculation with the "squeeze technique" that you can practice on your own and eventually with your girlfriend. By staying in the "plateau stage" of high pleasing arousal without approaching "ejaculatory inevitability" (when the subway train has already left the station and your orgasm will be spoiled if you don't let it rip) you'll make yourself available for more erotic pleasure with her while you're focusing on her building up to her own climax. That half hour or more of mutual pleasuring is the normal basis of couple sex that is not driven by the goal of reaching climax, and thus, for you, a valuable segment of your sexual intimacy that will transform you from a sexual-image-driven locomotive (with little relation to your partner) into a happy erotic story-teller hidden in Paradise Meadow with his Forest Nymph weaving tales of the Ravenous Rivers.
4. Telling stories is another wild-card in the magic mix for transforming your sexual life from a solo sport into Dances of 1001 Nights. You mix erotic touching with building erotic stories together, in which you improvise bits of plot and imagery in sequence with her improvisations, using fantasy material that excites her and adding small amounts of what excites you and does not shock her. You'll have to learn by watching and listening to her what turns her on, but normally how she looks plays a role, and elements that are beyond her control.
It's probably too soon to work on how to make improvised erotic stories work to build up a dance of erotic words & actions to make you a hotter and hotter couple. But you may get her started by asking her to recount what the most hypnotic-sexual early moments were in your togetherness, and then relive and embellish them with her. That can lead to phone sex-talk and text-sex-talk too.
Now on to pumping iron.