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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5809
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I know someone who has a local business and got remarried,

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I know someone who has a local business and got remarried, is older and well off. We went to parties at his house and I saw him at others' homes for about ten years, then we did not give as many dinners or parties because the house needed work, remodeling, then I remember his wife had other friends (she is younger) and I said I would call her, but then DID NOT. Don't ask me why! I have not seen them in a couple of years except his business is close to where I live, and my husband talked to them at the grocery store. Can I send them a card or note to say see you around? I want to be able to call them or call on them for help since they are neighbors, not close enough, about two miles away though. They are in business, but how can I mend the relationship? She was kind to want me to call after we had known them for so long.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It is fine to send them a card. You can tell them that you got busy and distracted but that you are sorry and want to rekindle your relationship. Once you explain that, focus on how they have been. Ask questions to catch up with them and see how they are doing. By focusing on them, it can not only distract from how long it has been since you last contacted each other, but it lets them feel that they are still very important to you. Plus, if she has offered to be in contact again, it is more than likely they will be understanding.

You can also consider having them over for dinner. That can be an excellent way to catch up with them and show them you would like to rekindle the friendship again.

I hope this has helped you,
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thanks. Now, can I say something to make this where we don't always have to be inviting and reinviting, that we can
stay stable as a relationship, in the mean time? Is there such a thing as doing that now, without the dinner? They are in business so I think they could handle it that way.

You can just send the card and let them know how you feel. You can follow that up with a call to make contact then see where it goes from there. If you do not hear from them within a few weeks, call again just to say hi. As long as you are open and friendly, then they should be fine with it.

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