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TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5808
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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my boyfriend of 5 years left me last week after a fight. we

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my boyfriend of 5 years left me last week after a fight. we have a child of 10 months and for the past 3 months it's been rough. fights on and off and now he's so angry and irritated at me that he's given up - he's the type to leave when times do get tough, he's done it over his career and our relationship a few times before, where he tells me 'we're not meant to be'. I want to save this relationship, what do you suggest I do? Give him his space and wait?
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

If you feel that this argument was because of something you did, it is good to tell him that you are sorry and that you will work on your issues. But if this was about something he caused, then giving him some space to work out his feelings and fix what he did is an option. He cannot continue to give up each and every time things become difficult. So before you do give him space, let him know that you are here for him, that you care and that your child needs him. Then tell him you will give him some time to decide what to do.

You may also want to suggest therapy (either come with you or go on his own) instead of giving him time on his own. He needs to address this issue. With a child, it is important that he models behavior that will help your child in life. And if your boyfriend shows your child that leaving is the answer to every problem, your child will follow that example. Stressing the importance of resolving this to your boyfriend will help. Also, you might want to point out that even if he leaves your relationship, he will continue to have this issue until he resolves it.

If you decide to allow him some time to resolve his feelings, give him about a week then try to contact him again. A week is long enough to allow him to think things through but not long enough to allow him to decide to move on.

I hope this has helped you,
TherapistMaryAnn and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
I hope my answer was helpful to you. If you have any more questions, please let me know.


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