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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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What do I do? A friend of mine got busy a few years ago and

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What do I do? A friend of mine got busy a few years ago and I did not talk to them on the phone or see them much. They sent me an email from a different address, and I was not
going to do this, but looked it up. It looked like a hobby page, but then I clicked on a few
of the listings and she was President of a dance project for a foundation, and then I noticed they put out a newsletter and sponsor events in different cities and also monthly events and connect with the minister of culture in a foreign country. I want to find out about it but don't want her to know I looked in to it on my own from the email address. How to ask?
I asked her today about the different email address and she said it was just a hobby type
address.
Hello. If you are both getting back in touch and you were friends with her in the past, it is not unreasonable to progress into conversations which involve what both of you have been interested in with your lives. If you can stand to be a little bit patient, you can just ask her what she has been up to and I'm certain that her employment would have to be mentioned as a natural conversational progression. If this is truly such a big part of her life and it sounds as though it is, there is no avoiding the subject. Be patient, it will come up soon enough.
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Would she not be a friend not telling me about that? I assume you think she is a friend, she has been very important to me and supportive, indicating support. Do people indicate support and ever not mean it? In my experience they would never offer that much and not mean it. I will follow your advice.


 


 

it depends on the email she had sent to you and how deep of a conversation she started with you. If she just sent you one email out of the blue and you hadn't heard form her in awhile, I wouldn't imagine she would just jump right in with everything that has happened with her in the past few years since you spoke last. She probably just wanted to first touch base and see if you were still around. I would take the time to get to know her again and see how it goes. I'm sure things will be fine. Friends who haven't seen each other in awhile can react in totally different ways so its hard to say her intentions right off other than just getting back in touch.
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

We have that answer to the prior question, what if it was not brought up in three months? I wrote a newsletter and never discussed it with anyone. I think it's like that. So maybe I should not worry, right?

Well, if she is the president of this organization and this is a huge part of her life, I would imagine there would be no way she would avoid it. And what would her reasons be? It's not as if she is doing something secret or anything which would hurt your feelings in some way. It's just her career. Writing a newsletter is one thing, but you indicated this is a huge part of her life. If I were you, if she even goes a few weeks of normal conversation with you and she doesn't mention it, you should probably ask her what she has been up to and what she is doing for work. I don't see a reason why she should lie to you about it.
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