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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Last year I had a fling with a guy half my age, crazy as I

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Last year I had a fling with a guy half my age, crazy as I am happily married, then yesterday we got back in touch, from a distance, and it seems to be all starting again, or maybe it never finished as far as the attraction goes. I know I'm unwise and I know I'm taking a risk but what do you see in store with this weird relationship?
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Dear friend,

It can be a very heady and exciting feeling to be in a an exiting and secret relationship that makes you feel youthful and sexy and wanted in a way that may be lacking in your happy but somewhat lackluster relationship.

Something feels as if it is missing and this affair fills the gap. Having the affair the first time already "opened the door" and brought something new and exciting into your life, and now you crave it.

It may be difficult to return to normalcy in your marriage and you will continue with this affair.

I am sure that your intention is to enjoy your moments with him and continue with your marriage as before because of the benefits of married life and because of the close friendship that you have with your husband.

You may carry this on indefinitely and it may eventually fade away. Life, however, comes with any guarantees that serendipitously, in an unexpected turn of events, your husband may find out about this and you may suddenly find your world turned upside down.

You may also begin to change your feelings towards your husband, imperceptibly, but continuously in little increments, or he may sense certain changes in you.

The events do change us and those changes can change our lives significantly once a certain threshold is reached.

I am sure that you know that you are playing with fire here but so far are enjoying the warmth and glow of the flames that you are ignoring the possible consequences even though you do understand them.

If you don't want to ever be in the position of looking back and wishing to the powers that be that you should never have done this, or that you should have quit while you were ahead, then you SHOULD quit while you are ahead. Drop him and don't look back.

If your current delight and pleasure is worth losing what you have, then you can keep on throwing the dice. You are on a lucky streak. You can take your earnings (sweet memories) and walk away, or can go back to the table.

Some get away and never lose, but this is a good time to pause and think about what would happen if this all came apart. It is possible.

I wish you great success with your life and shall keep you in my prayers for happiness and fulfillment.

Warm regards,

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