If he suggested it to you than you could ask him to go with you so he can help the counselor to help you cope with him and his withdrawing.
PS If you've only been separated for 2 years from what was probably a long marriage you might not be ready for a full commitment yet, especially since you right in with him right away, so he's been a healing man for you. But he's had plenty of time if he's been off-marriage for 13 years already, and he's not opening up and staying open. So what you're noticing is that he's been great for helping you heal from the key wounds you've carried from your own marriage, but taken as a WHOLE human being, his flaws are unbearable. Does HE know that you want to go further with him but he can't seem to handle it? [By the way, it's typical for young adult CHILDREN of DIVORCE to start relationships fast, dive in deeply, but then start backing out and devising ways to protect themselves as soon as what they have starts to look like a long-term relationship==because that means to them that a divorce is inevitable. And they prefer to dump their unsuspecting partners first rather than wait while minor problems might get more major, because ultimately they feel helpless to make relationships really last, but they're pretty good at self-reliance and at finding somebody new (if they've had enough practice). So the Child of divorce is the pursuer at first, but then once the partner is into him, he's the distancer.
Your guy has been dumped once or twice already, so he's behaving like a divorce child in some ways. At least he knows that he's scared--I wrote my 2nd doctoral dissertation on my research into divorce children's romances, and I told my ChDiv students to realize that they're scared of breakups, so they make them happen proactively. So coping strategy #1 should be to admit they're scared and then talk over their situation with somebody who's not divorced or a child of divorce.
A little counseling can help ANYBODY in a rocky love relationship, if the counselor is VERY GOOD. I recommend Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy practitioners (see online center in Ottawa, Canada with member lists all over), because how you perceive, express and act on your emotions is the core process for making relationships work, and experiencing that your emotions are safe to express with your partner, all of them.