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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  Experienced in counseling all age persons on relationship issues.
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I met this girl randomly by chance at a concert tailgate and

Customer Question

I met this girl randomly by chance at a concert tailgate and we instantly clicked. I've been dating her for about 2 months. We've had a ton of fun alone and in groups. Everything seemed absolutely perfect my friends like her, her friends like me and as soon as i invited her to a family cookout thing she was all for it then suddenly she said that she wasn't feeling it because she doesn't want anything serious right now and that meeting my family would be a little much. But she then said that she loves spending time with me and loves having me around and if she was looking for someone i'd be absolutely perfect. and she said that all before i said anything back. i really care about her and never connected with someone this well before and don't want to lose it. How should i go about handling this situation? (She does go to a college a few hours away and she is currently home for the summer)
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Bonnie replied 4 years ago.
Hello and thank you for using Just Answer services,
You handled it perfectly so apologizing. Since she made it clear she is not yet ready to be "serious" (and family gatherings are a symbol of "serious"), just back up a little and continue to ask her out alone and in a group. Keep your relationship at a level that she is comfortable with. Be patient. Since you are obviously clicking, it probably won't take a long time for her to let herself become more attached. However, maybe she doesn't want anything to interfere with school. Hopefully the two of you can discuss what the distance means in your relationship before school starts. Will you be exclusive or date others? So keep things as they were and watch for signs that she is getting serious. These signs would include: she invites you to HER family event. If you push when she is not ready, you may lose her altogether. It is also possible that she is shy or uncomfortable in a family gathering situation.

I hope this helps. Warm regards and best of luck,

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