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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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For Deardebra I messed everything up!!!!I think its over

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For Deardebra I messed everything up!!!!I think it's over.I had suggested going for an ice-cream as he is leaving tomorrow.He said that he didn't know if he'd make it cause a friend of his was going over but didn't know what time he'd leave, so he said he'd let me know. At 9.40pm texted him asking him to give me news.He said he had just left and to call him if I wanted, so I did. I told him he could have called me. Then he started talking abt everything but not of meeting up. I cut him short that I was going for an icecream. I said I could even take it over He said that he prefered not as they weren't good for him at the moment. At that point I said that it was only a way to meet up.He starting stammering and said "I beg you! I replied why he always said that and explained I would have gone over for a few minutes just to say bye.but he replied that would be forced...I answered that he confused me and that he made me close up. He answered that even he closed up. I was so hurt, was in tears but tried not to show him, then asked what time he was leaving tomorrow to France to see his daughter and he said late morning or afternoon as he had an open ticket. At that point I said ok so it's up to you if you want to see me before you leave.

Hi, I'm Josie and I am a moderator for this topic. I sent your requested professional a message to follow up with you here, when she is back online.

If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience.
There seems like there is a lot going on with him. I feel there is something that needs to be discussed. He seems to be holding back and he needs to express why. If he does want to see you before he leaves I feel he will contact you. But tonight he had other plans so he decided not to see you. I think that you need to ask him why. I think there is something he just isn't saying.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

For Deardebra....he never called before he left and not even my message..what is it that is that he is not saying...why does he not text me...why does he punish me like this? doesn't he understand how much it hurts....

He never called before he left and he should have gave you some sort of message before he left. I don't think he means to hurt you I just think he wants to always be in control of the relationship. He will not give in because he wants to be in control of the relationship. But he does not realize you are hurting and he needs to know all this bothers you. You need to ask him why he did not message you.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.



What should I do? He's in France and he never answers calls when abroad. I texted him this morning cause I had introduced him to a friend of mine who wanted his cell number for work. So I texted him informing him about this.He replied that he would contact him when he'd be back. What should I do? Just wait for him to text me which I feel he won't do. Should I text that all this is agony and if he feels good about it. Please help and tell me if we'll make it up and manage to get out of him what blocks him.

It is important to creat the bond while he is away. You want to communicate with him telling him about your day and also asking about his day. This will help in making that stronger connection with each other. People often go away and they are our if there element they are more relaxed because they are not home where they deal with everyday life, obligations. Life often gets in the way of making that connection because people are very busy. When someone is away it gives the person time to think about life. Some times people come back to make chafes because they reflected on their life and the next step they want to take. I fell this is your opportunity to connect in a new way. It is always nice to know someone is there for you even if he does not respond you are still creating that connection.