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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Theres this girl I might get together with if she can sort

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There's this girl I might get together with if she can sort out her (ex-)boyfriend situation and make the right decisions for herself. She likes me cause I dress well and am a "nice" but interesting guy who is "sweet" according to her. Thing is, I feel completely unprepared for a relationship right now because I feel I cannot take on the demands of responding to and investing emotions in another person. I am a very private person and don't at all mind being by myself or doing things on my own. I don't usually feel lonely and I wish for few friends (1-2) and quickly feel overwhelmed if I have more people in my life other than those 1-2 friends and certain family members. I have been diagnosed by my doctor as having schizoid personality "disorder" and it takes a lot to get me riled up or have a strong emotional response. I think I have become so used to being alone that that aspect of my life has become part of my identity and any relationship would be threatening to that, or at least impose obligations and burdens on me that I might resent and which might make me feel trapped and overwhelmed. Plus she seems like the type that is used to a healthy love life and my moods and feelings about sex wax and wane. Once in a while perhaps, but not more than that. I don't like emotional demands being placed on me and definitely don't like feeling obligated.

Sounds like a lot as I read what I'm writing. I'm sure no girl would be interested in having to deal with so much, especially shortcomings in some key areas necessary for a "real" relationship. So should I just tell her to forget about it? I've always known I'm "different" from other people but I like that and I prefer being unconventional and interesting. I feel like I will never be able to hold onto a "normal" girl and will only manage if I meet someone that is just like me. Where might I find such a person? Schizoids are rare enough and a female schizoid is very rare.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Hello again,

Are you surprised at your level of interest in this young woman ?

If she ever gets herself free of this old boyfriend, you could get to know her better and then explain about your SchPD. You never know. She is already attracted to you and may like the strong silent type.

It won't hurt too bad to try . Life is about living and sometimes you have to go through the pain for a bit of comfort.

If you are looking for some online contacts, you would try this Experience Project group of over 80 members who share your disorder and talk to each other.

There is a rather bland Google Group:!topic/

and more interesting, one on PsychForums:

Imagaine all of these Schizoids getting together in groups.

It's certainly worth a look, isn't it.

I wish you great success on your adventures and quests. If I can help in any way please let me know.

Best wishes,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Thank you so much, Marc. :)

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I'm not really so so interested in her it's just fascinating that with my history I've managed to attract a "normal" girl and I just want to see where it goes. She's nice looking, intelligent enough, but she also seems friendly like she has a lot of friends. I ask a lot of questions about her because I am a hopelessly analytical person that likes to have everything sorted out before I get involved in anything. Maybe

Consider it one of life's adventures, if you wish and the opportunity avails itself. You must test your own limits.