How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dear Debra Your Own Question
Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
57081136
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dear Debra is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My fiance works at a bar. She flirts with all the men and lets

This answer was rated:

My fiance works at a bar. She flirts with all the men and lets them put money in her nra and cop a feel. I have seen her making out with a guy at the bar for a fourty dollar tip. She tells me not to worry. I think it turns her on. When we go home she is very horny and we have sex.

I really need your help. I cant stand what she does and I have told her she gets mad and we fight. I do not believe we will last. Whats wrong with her and us? Dave

Deardebra : Thank you for your question.
Deardebra : this is something that bothers you and I feel that it is a problem in the relationship.
Deardebra : her behavior is causing you and her to fight.
Deardebra : i don't think she understands how much this bothers you.
Deardebra : I am sure she would not want you doing this and I feel she just is not seeing your side of the story.
Deardebra : if she has made out with a guy then that is cheating.
Deardebra : Her work is at a bar but she does not have to let guys touch her for tips. She can get tips by just being friendly, she doesn't have to do this because it is causing a problem in your relationship so it needs to stop.
Deardebra : She needs to know that you feel if things do not change you feel the relationship will end. This behavior is not acceptable and she needs to think of you.
Deardebra : she thinks she has to do all this stuff for tips but she doesn't, tell her to stop and do things different.
Deardebra : If this is something that bothers you and you fight over it then she needs to change so you both can have a healthy happy relationship together. Thank you for your question.
Customer:

A realationship like this will not last will it?

Customer:

She told me she wants me and no one else. I do not believe her

Deardebra : I feel that her behavior is going to continue to cause a problem. If she stops then I feel you both can build a good relationship together.
Customer:

every guy she has gone out with she has done this too. I do not feel this will chnage

Deardebra : If this has happened in other relationships then she should realize that this is a problem. You really both need to talk about this so she sees this is a problem in her life.
Deardebra : She should not have to feel like she has to do that for tips.
Customer:

we have talked and she wil not stop I think she likes the attention. It hurts me and she knows it. It also turns her on whats wrong with her?

Deardebra : It sounds like she is someone that needs a lot of attention and she likes getting it from guys.
Deardebra : But it is a negative attention.
Customer:

a long term or marriage like this wont work wll it?

Deardebra : There will always be this constant division between you because you will always be arguing over this issue. Which will long term you will back away because you will be tired of getting hurt.
Customer:

thank you

Dear Debra and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you