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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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My 51 year old girlfriend says she is confused--she loves me

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My 51 year old girlfriend says she is confused--she loves me and I am her best friend, but she thinks she should be feeling "fireworks" (like in the movies) and it concerns her. Is it common for us older folks (I'm 50, and don't feel the fireworks as I did in my 20s, but I feel a deeper, more passionate love than I was ever capable of back then)to feel the same fireworks in a relationship as we did in our teens and 20s? We've been dating for a year. I try not to advise her, since I have a vested interest in the outcome and no matter how hard I try to be objective, don't think I can. What can I say to her other than I will respect and honor her decision and let her know how much she means to me? We're both divorced once each...
It is probably more common to want companionship at your age than to feel fireworks. However women are emotional creatures and sometimes feel they need that from a relationship. You can create this atmosphere by always spicing things up. One good tool is to have a regular date night where you turn off the rest of your problems and have a date as if you are new to relationship. Tell her she's pretty or that she looks nice. compliments are hugely important. You can only do what you can but with effort you can keep the relationship fresh. Ask her what you can do as well so that you know what she wants.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX already compliment on her something every single time we go out. I always try to make her feel special--bring her flowers for no reason, help her with chores without being asked, open her door almost every time (only because sometimes she beats me to it)...we always have a fantastic, fun time when we're together. She just doesn't know if she should be feeling that same thing she felt when she was in her 20s...based upon your response, there isn't any more I can do except to let her decide...thanks

Best wishes
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