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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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My husband invited one of my female friends over to watch a

Customer Question

My husband invited one of my female friends over to watch a movie when I wasn't home, should I be mad at him, her or both?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 4 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

It is possible that nothing happened, but it was a very foolish thing to do - for your husband to invite her and for her to come while you were away.

Just because it looks bad, even if nothing happened, they should never have done it.

It implies that they had a private rendevous with the opportunity to have a sexual liaison. This may or may not have happened, but it is certainly something they never should have done.

I would not get mad at either one. I would not let them know what you are thinking. In that way, if there is something going on, they will be less alert to the fact that you don't like this, and you will better better able to keep your eye on them discretely.

If you say something to either one, and something did happen, they will not tell you and they will be more cautiou and secretive if they are having an affair.

Hopefully, it was just ignorant but innocent.

I wish you success and shall keep you in my prayers

Warm regards,


Customer: replied 4 years ago.

are you kidding me, sitting back and waiting to see if they are having an affair, what kind of advise is this?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 4 years ago.
Dear friend,

You are misinterpreting my suggestion. You don't wait and see but you need to know as much as you can to confront them and catch them in a lie.

I am not giving you that advice? Right now you do not know if they are having one already. If you confront them, they will deny it and you will know nothing.

If you want to know the truth then check out communications between them and try to find out as much as you can before you accuse them with only suspicions.

Of course you don't want them to have an affair, and if they are you want to catch them and stop them. They will be easier to catch if they are off guard.

If you wish to confront them now, just ask them why they did it because it does not look good.

I hope that it was just some foolish judgement on their part.

Warm regards,