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Well my question is really about chronic lying and seeing whether that can eventually be helped through therapy or medication. I mean we have both messed up a lot....a lot and Id like to work things out but you are right, if I can't trust her, then it cannot work. Can that sort of thing be worked out of her over time though?
Thank you. That was more of the response I was looking for. She is 24 and we have 3 kids together. She lies about a lot and that hurts. She says that she has lied to impress me because sometimes she feels like she is not good enough for me but these are crazy elaborate lies. She will also lie about small things that she has no reason to lie about. She does want help but she has a ton of trouble when she is asked to face them. She says that the bad things that I have done in the relationship have made her say forget it. Her feelings about the past are so great that she has to overcome those before she comes home, if she comes home. Her lies amongst a few other things are my issues and I am trying Very hard to get her back right now. I just needed to ask if change was even possible in her because my feelings can't go back to what they were.
She needs outside help. She needs guidance. Will she be receptive to seeing a counselor? I believe it would be beneficial for you to both see one together and separate.........marriage and family counselor. If she seems opposed to counseling...suggest a life coach. There are many counselors who are also life coaches. It sounds like she is continuing to avoid the real issues. She needs help, other than you. You need to be a supportive husband and awesome father. If you are not already the primary domestic partner, offer to assist around the house so that she feels like she has time to attend therapy or life coaching. Actions speak volumes. She will see and feel your commitment, it will just take time and some open dialogue with a counselor. You two may need to have some difficult conversations about past problems.