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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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my husband is convinced I had an affair and I did not= how

Customer Question

my husband is convinced I had an affair and I did not= how to resolve this?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 4 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help.

I do not know the history of your relationship with your husband or if there have been any past indiscretions by either of you to have put this notion into his head.

It is possible that he is thinking about (or engaging in) cheating and he is accusing you of what he is thinking or doing. This is not uncommon.

A third possibility is that he has developed a personality disorder known as Paranoid Personality Disorder, which is an unjustified distrust and suspicion of others. He will not confide in you, will read unintended meaning into benign actions or comments, and will have unjustified, recurring suspicions about your fidelity.

If this is the case it will be very hard for him to get treatment (which is talk therapy/psychotherapy) because he will be suspicious of the person treating him.

Your best bet would be to make an appointment with a marriage and family therapist and have him go with you to work this out.

If he has PPD, however, he will not want to go and will not want to be helped, thinking he does not need it.

If this is delusional thinking, then he will not respond to logic or common sense as a normal person would.

If he has this disorder then he can only be helped with psychotherapy. If he does not, then he will respond to logic.

I shall keep you in my prayers that he will understand the you are faithful, and will get over these untrue beliefs.

Warm regards,