Deardebra : Thank you for your question.
Deardebra : I do believe that you can get her back.
Deardebra : What you want to do is really think about the conversations you had with her about her not being happy.
Deardebra : These are the things that need to be fixed before you get back together. One thing I want to talk about is she has been through a lot with you. Out of anger you went and drank because you wanted it to bother her. What you really did was show her her biggest fear. I feel that is what she is afraid of that you will change again.
Deardebra : She has worried so much about it that I feel she protected and blocked her feelings.
Deardebra : She is afraid to get hurt. But what she should have did was just love you and focused on you and her. Instead of thinking about following her heart she let fear take over.
Deardebra : Which took her focus off of loving you, so to protect herself she walked away. Some times people can get so confused by there emotions. People some times fall in love and get so scared of getting there heart broken they run away.
Deardebra : They would rather leave then ever get their heart broken. You need to measure her that this is going to be a new start for us. Tell her that all you want her to do is love you. She needs to experience these emotions.
Deardebra : She needs to drop her guard.
Deardebra : This is what I want you to do. I want you to recreate your first date. Tell ere you want to take her out to talk then surprise her. She is looking for you to change her from being unhappy. What happens in relationships is when you first start dating its fun, exciting and new. Your learning about each other. Then as time passes things get serious and routine. In the beginning you try to impress each other but as time passes it just because the same routine day in and day out. You have to always try to impress each other.
Deardebra : Also communication is very important and you both seem like you can talk to each other she did come too you and tell you she was not happy.
Deardebra : RIght then you should of tried to make changes to make her happy. I'm sure she knew what was making her unhappy.
Deardebra : I want you to write her a letter about how things will be different and mail it too her. This will give her time to think about all you have said. She needs to hear how you feel about her. I also want you to understand that her walking away is her saying she can not deal with this situation right now, but it does not mean the relationship is over. She could clear her mind enough to want to try again. Not everyone hands problems the same some people walk away while some stay and face the problems. It is all on your personality.
Deardebra : She can not handle this right now so she walked away. What you need to do is get her to walk back in and that is by showing her how things will be different.
i have asked her to go out to dinner yesterday. she said she didn't think it was agood idea. she doesn't want to give me the wrong impression.. as for mailing a letter , i do not have her address now she is ignoring my text messages
Deardebra : She says it was not a good idea and the reason she will not meet us because she knows when she sees you she will want to come back.
Deardebra : I would text her how you feel since you do not have her address.
i have done that.
Deardebra : Did she tell you one specific reason why she was leaving?
that she could not make herself be happy here for me
Deardebra : Did she say if there was any changes you could make for her to be happy?
we never really discussed it
Deardebra : That is what I want you to text her to see if she will respond. Ask her if there is anything that you can change to make her happy again. Some times people go through so much that feelings get blocked. I feel this is what is happening.
Deardebra : She needs to be reminded why you both fell in love, she needs to remember why you both started a life together. Everything else got in the way so she needs to know and understand her feelings for you are still there.
i sent the text ,will see if she responds .
Deardebra : Perfect, I feel she will see you willing to do what ever it takes to win her back.
when i met her she was ending a 2 year live in relationship. she just walked away from him and never looked back. i am afraed d this is what she is doing again
Deardebra : I want you to stay positive. Every relationship is different you are not going to let her walk away you are going to keep trying so she can see that her feelings for you are still there. This is going to take time because you have to show her that you are willing to change to make her happy to get her back. She will not come back right away because she feels things will just go back to the same thing she left.
this is so hard , her leaving just made me love her even more
she's not going to respond to me now