Hi! It's good to hear from you. But I'm so sorry to hear that things haven't changed that much. They are better somewhat, you write. And that's good.
In general, it sounds like the same situation as when you wrote a couple of months ago: he's doing what he wants to do when he wants to do it. And no amount of your trying to prod him to take into account your desires and needs is changing his determination to do it his way.
This is still making you uncertain, as before, if he truly does intend to propose or if he's just "stringing you along". That was very much hurting you a couple of months ago and it still seems to be something you're afraid of.
I wrote to you then that if there would be any changes, they would be slow. And that is what you are reporting: things are a little bit better, but only a little bit. Any improvement has been small and slow in coming. And so you're still left wondering what his real intentions are and whether his love for you is real or not.
This is very hurtful. And so I'm sorry you're going through this. But, the basic dynamic is still there: no matter how hurtful it might be to you, that does not make a dent in his actions and behavior.
Yes, you are right: the example you bring of the man who couldn't wait to propose and give the ring is more what a woman wants and looks for. But this is not what you've got.
It sounds as though you're resolved to wait it out and see if he's really going to propose before 2013 is over. That is a long time, I understand. But there are no words you can use that will affect his timetable, whatever it is.
Why he is the way he is there is no way for me to diagnose from this distance. It certainly sounds like it could be characterological or developmental. That is certainly a possibility. And if so, then this is something built in to him in deep ways and would be very, very hard to change.
It could be because of previous relationships. But whatever the cause, you need to recognize that this is who he is and that, when he does propose, other decisions very likely will follow this pattern as well. So, I want to make sure you recognize this is what you would be signing up for if you accept his proposal.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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