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Hi, Im looking for a bit of insight on my situation. My

Hi, I'm looking for a...
Hi,

I'm looking for a bit of insight on my situation. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me about two months ago (we were together for 1 1/2 years). We had a great time together but for the last three months of the relationship I had some personal issues that transferre to the relationship and I really didn't pay much attention to her took her for granted and started to neglect her. This really hurt her feelings so she broke it up (we talked about this about 2 weeks after the break up and I apologized). I wanted to give her some time & space so basically didn't talk to her for one month (expect at work - we work together - where I kept it totally professional). About two weeks ago we went for coffee, had a fun time, just laughed and joked ... nothing about our past together. She got really sick last week and has to stay at home. I've sent her a get-well-soon bouquet of flowers and she was really happy and texted me that this is the best surprise ever and that she never before had gotten such beautiful flowers. We talked over the phone the next day and somehow got to the topic of our past relationship and I've told her that I still have feelings and would like to start a new relationship together. She said, she's having doubts about it, but needs to be 100% sure to do it. That's a major change from what her stance was a month ago (a flat out "no").

Today, we are going to dinner to a really fancy (romantic) restaurant - she invited me more than a month ago and we set the date for today. Even after all this time I still want to get back together ago, but how can I know if she shares this feeling with me. I've done a lot of work on myself during this time, changed for the better and she's noticed it. What should I do today to take us one more step closer to getting back together? I'm bringing her a single red rose as a small gift.
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Answered in 16 minutes by:
5/26/2013
Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4,627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Verified

Hi Miha,

 

In the event that the dinner is still to take place, it may be helpful to just be yourself. Whatever had transpired in the past is finished. At some point the two of you could discuss what led to the breakup whether or not you're to get back together. Each one may need some sense of closure about the past hurt in order to move forward.

 

As far as what to do to find out if she feels the same way, you would know because of her behavior. Someone who is disinterested would not be going out again or setting up meetings in cozy places. You'd need to know if she's entertaining the idea of seeing someone else/where she stands in the dating field at this time.

 

Taking things at her pace can show her that you do care and that you respect her comfort level. You can invite her to another dinner or movies (to places that the two of you enjoyed while you were together) When you part from the dinner or meeting, you could kiss your hand or give her a hug (something that does not seem to be coming on too strong yet showing affection).

 

Depending on the feel you get from her, you could always ask if she would like to give the relationship another try (it would depend on how much she got hurt in the past and how far along she's in dealing with it).

Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4,627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

She's not dating or seeing anybody else - I know from our mutual friends. The thing she said to me over and over is that she is thinking about me and us getting back together but she doesn't trust that I would act differently toward her in anyway that I did and that she would be hurt all over again. Yes, the dinner is still taking place, tonight, and I'm very much looking forward to it.

Trust is a main issue in all relationships. She is frightened that whatever had caused the break up can creep in again. That would be something that you would be working on. She would be looking for different actions on your part. You may have to remind her that change occurs over time and that you need a chance to show her that.

Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4,627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Verified
Dr Rossi and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4,627
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Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.

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