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Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 20 plus years of experience in the field.
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Facebook Crap Again

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Hi Jean,
It's been awhile since you and I have talked. Well I need to talk to you about the Facebook crap again.

I think I left off by telling you that I stopped talking to my husband after she posted a picture of them two on her Facebook cover. Well, he did get her to take it down, but not without her putting something nasty in its place by saying it’s her FB account and she can put whatever the F she wants on it. Well, that just made me even madder so I still decided to go minimal contact with him after that. That was the middle of April. You would think that common sense would tell him to tell her to stop doing that so he and I can get along long enough to settle things between us and finalize the separation papers. But, no it hasn’t. After about 2 weeks of that very classless quote on her FB cover, what does she do? She puts the original picture of them two back in its place. What is wrong with this skank??

Anyway, right after I went minimal contact,he tried everything he could through e-mails to strike up conversations with me that were not business related or house related and I wouldn’t talk to him. I always ignored it when he tried to have those types of conversations with me. Well, last week he gave up and only asked me business or house related questions. After I found out she posted that picture again (on Monday) I completely lost it and I sent out an exposure letter to many of her FB friends exposing their affair and explained when it started and how they ended up together. I thought for sure he would get mad and say something, but he never said anything to me last week.

Anyway, before the weekend I sent him a scathing email telling him that as long as she continues to antagonize me with the FB covers and profiles I will make this whole separation process difficult for him. I told him by allowing her to continue this shows me he is heartless. The man has control of this just by telling her to stop. Does she want him to have try and find money to get a lawyer?

Jean, what do you think her deal is and what his problem? I don’t understand what is going on. She already knew I wasn’t talking to him because I’m sure he told her so I don’t understand why should would put the picture back to get at me. I need help on this one bad. Also, do you think I did the right thing by exposing the affair to try and get her to stop with the FB stuff? Marriage Builder's says that the affair should be exposed anyway so I just followed their advice.

P.S. Keep in mind that the reason I am upset about the profile pic and FB covers are because they are public and people keep asking me about he and I and who she is and all that. If a person is FB friends with one her friends, her profile keeps popping up saying..."You may know this person." So when they click on it, they see her and my husband just as plain as day.

20pluscounts : Hello, I'm here!
20pluscounts : Yikes, sounds like you are taking a ride on the "crazy train" again. I'm sorry for the struggle- the struggle that never seems to quit right!
20pluscounts : No one would blame you for "exposing" this- again something you can "do" vs. the frequent sense of powerlessness.
20pluscounts : This is so painful, that reoccuring "coffin" coming out of the ground. It's unfortunate he doesn't respect you and make it clear with her to stop this nonsense.
20pluscounts : I think she's doing her own damage by freely posting pictures of herself with a married man- that is not attractive- it's scandoulous!
20pluscounts : It is her FB account, yes, and you can not control what she puts on there. If anything she ups the "anty" when you express an opinion about this. This then becomes a ping pong match. You have exposed this, now may be the time to step back again.
20pluscounts : hello hello! I am available for about 20 min.
Customer: Hey Jean,
Customer: Why would she do this knowing that he and I are not talking anyway?
Customer: She already got her way by me having minimal contact? Does she want him to get a lawyer and spend tons of money. I can't be nice to him under these conditions because I feel what is occuring is abuse.
20pluscounts : good to hear from you! I think it's a power/control, sort of game. Once you expressed your dissatisfaction, she escalated her "game".
Customer: Wow, that's crazy. What kind of person is this? Is not enough that she is sleeping with him and has him?
Customer: Why would he put up with it??
Customer: He is enable it to continue.
20pluscounts : It does feel abusive- so hurtful to you. Little can you do to get him to handle this as you'd like- other than what you have already done- expressed your hurt.
Customer: Is it possible that she is insecure and may pick up on the fact that it bothers him that I am not talking to him?
Customer: So she puts the picture up again?
20pluscounts : Wow, the cheating man, and the women fighting over him- he's trying to stay on the down low to avoid the conflict. Yes, the anger from her could be insecurity- who knows for sure.
Customer: So, he doesn't want to make her mad since he might lose his sleeping buddy.
Customer: I'm worried about sending the exposure letter. It was professional and to the point and no name calling. I heard it's a good thing to do. I wish I would have done it earlier.
Customer: Neither of them seem to be bothered by it, especially her. She took down the picture again, probably at the request of him, but she put a quote about relationships in it's place and he clicked on like. Now they are both goating me to continue with the drama.
20pluscounts : Putting the picture up communicates "he's mine". This is not a game, and sadly people acting this way goes above and beyond the "below the belt". It's important to express you anger, hurt etc. Finding away to rise above this is key- let her stew about this, you step back, observe, see what happens from here. Yes sending the letter took guts and can create anxiety.
20pluscounts : I think it may be wise to avoid looking on FB at least for a few hours, if not for the day.
Customer: Yes, it has because her adult son is the only one who wrote me and said he understood my anger, but that the kid in the picture with them was his little brother. I took that one down and put something else there in it's place.
Customer: Another picture of the two of them.
20pluscounts : This is really difficult right now isn't it!
Customer: Yes, they just keep poking at me? How cruel for him to allow this. It's not enough that he left me and has caused me anguish.
Customer: I have been told her is a typical wayward spouse in the fog.
20pluscounts : Find a way to calm, relax, some sort of diversion from this- this is hurtful and stepping back can offer some relief. Who knows what her and his intentions are with this- it's cruel for sure.
Customer: I mean I have been told he is a typical wayward foggy spouse
20pluscounts : Yes, good descripton
Customer: He is in such deniel about how wrong this and the pain he is causing me.
20pluscounts : This may be over his head, not much of a clue how to handle this.
Customer: He keeps blaming me. He never once has said he was sorry for how he has handled this. He once told me not to hate myself for the break down of our marriage. I don't even recognize this man anymore.
Customer: But then one time he said that he wasn't a good person. It's about him.
Customer: Saying he isn't a good person allows him to continue the affair in my opinion and keeps him from taking responsibility of all the damage he has done because of this woman.
20pluscounts : Right, he can hide behind, "I'm not a good person, that's why I act this way"
Customer: Right. I asked him why he has done this to me. He just said...I'm not a good person, that's all I know.
Customer: Yes, he was so good to me for so many years. Made my birthdays and Christmas's special and cooked for me and always helped around the house. I couldn't have had it better and then one day he meets this skank.
Customer: HIs friends think he has lost his F-ing mind. That's just how they said it. One friend asked my husband Dad what was wrong him leaving me for her and has he lost his mind.
20pluscounts : Any chance you can get a hold of him to talk in person? Even if it's just for you to express your hurt, tell him what you want/need from him in order to move on. If you say something like: "I feel...and need you to tell me....need to hear you say..." She represents all that has been taken from you.
20pluscounts : It's difficult making sense out of insanity.
Customer: I know it is. I really don't want to talk to him. It hurt me too much and I want to stay in minimal contact. I have told him this stuff before, how I felt and he just blames the people who are telling me about the profile and FB cover. He doesn't understand that's not about them telling me, some ask and then I go look at it.
20pluscounts : I have about 5 min. before I have to skadaddle sp? you know what I mean.
Customer: Oh, Ok. can we talk later?
20pluscounts : Yes, protect yourself, maintain that distance may be best for now- trust your gut on this one.
20pluscounts : yes it's almost 10 a.m here my time- I'm available about noon
Customer: Ok, do I just come back to this chat?
20pluscounts : what time do you have?
20pluscounts : yes I can leave chat open for now
Customer: Almost 11am
Customer: Ok, Noon your time?
20pluscounts : ok so meet you noon my time- 1p for you
Customer: Yes, ok. Thanks for my Jean.
20pluscounts : y r so welcome- hang in there
Customer: I mean thanks so much Jean. lol
20pluscounts : didn't even notice the error- I get ya!
Customer: You there?
20pluscounts : yes I am here
20pluscounts : How is your day going?
Customer: Ok I guess. How about yours?
20pluscounts : good thanks
Customer: I'm find out that going minimal contact is harder than letting him cake eat.
Customer: I was depressed all weekend because imagined the two of them laughing at me and making fun of me after I sent the exposure letter. I was told by people in Marriage Advocate that this is normal and sometimes they get angry, but sometimes they say nothing and stay quiet.
20pluscounts : of course- goes against your natural grain to have no contact- but is important- worth your effort.
Customer: I cried all weekend because I miss the man he used to be. I don't recognize him anymore.
Customer: I feel like the people I sent the exposure letter to are going to think I am unstable or something and I have gone off the deep end.
20pluscounts : Sending that exposure letter may be opening up a bit more anxiety for you too. It hurts, your heart is broken- over and over.
20pluscounts : yes, you kind of put yourelf out there with the letter- but like you said it needed to happen
20pluscounts : I'd say the letter "calls them out" in a sense- the truth can hurt.
20pluscounts : Are there support groups in your area? Something to do with loss, divorce, grief?
20pluscounts : You need support, and being with others who are in similar situations can be comforting, supportive, validating.
20pluscounts : I think people reading the letter would have empathy for you, most would, when you are the one being "cheated" on.
20pluscounts : are you there Ms. Marie?
20pluscounts : Hope you are not having trouble with live chat- if I don't hear from you in five minutes I will change to question and answer format.

Would you be so kind to rate my answer Ms. Marie?Smile Hope we can connect later. I will check back later to see if you have responded.


Thank you,


Jean and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Sorry we were so abruptly disconnected- not sure what happened there. Do let me know how things are going for you.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hi Jean,

I hope you are doing well this morning. Sorry about last time. I couldn't get back to you right away. I was interrupted. My husband still has not said anything about the letter I sent. It's as if I didn't even send it. Weird. I know they are aware of it though since I sent it to her son. My husband talks to me through e-mail like everything is fine. He still does things for me at the house. I have decided to make a lot of changes at the house such as change the kitchen, spring clean and paint. I can't wait to see what he has to say about making the house more girly with lots of flowers and pink. lol

Right now even without me doing anything to the house he worries about what is going on there. This includes the yard. He comments on anything little thing I do and makes suggestions. Why do you think he does this? One time I told him that I worked in the front yard for about an hour and he dropped what he was doing and went over there to check it out. lol

Wait until I make all those changes to show that there is no doubt a woman lives there. I'm sure he then will Sh*t a brick. haha


P.S. I forgot to tell you that one of his complaints about me was that I showed no passion for anything like a hobby or working the yard or anything else. The reason was because I was a work aholic. I think this was a big issue in our marriage. Anyway, about a month ago he asked me when I was gonig to start cooking in the crock pot. I had told him I was going to start doing that, but never did. I couldn't figure out why he even cared. He also kept telling me to keep up the good work and keep working in the yard too. It's like he enjoys seeing me take interest in things. I think that was a big issue. Me wanting to work all the time and us just being in a rut. Now I want to change all that and I'm trying a little bit a time, but it's hard without him there.

I will respond asap- when I have time over lunch- good to hear from you!
What I'm hearing is that you are venturing out to find yourself, build a life for yourself, regardless of a man. I would think he is curious about all of these changes, how can he not notice- you shared a life "forever". You becoming more of your own person is attractive too. One can lose them self in a marriage, a job etc. He shows interest because he cares, but that does not necessarily predict or explain where he is headed in all of this. He continues to be with "her", and somehow you've survived, carried on with your life. That says a ton about your character- and that you are stronger than you have given yourself credit for. This crisis has also been an opportunity for you to dig really deep and find YOU. The crisis has led to you feeling deeply, being hurt deeply, but at the same time finding some sort of enlightenment.

You sprucing the house up is another example of you renewing yourself- doing things, taking steps to create a better life for YOU, create more happiness- realizing that the only one who can truly make us happy is us. Being in a relationship with someone is icing on the cake. Continue to nurture yourself, create an environment that promotes you heading in a positive direction.

Yes, I'd say these changes are being noticed by him. You can look at this with curiosity too wonder how "this will turn out", when he sees more changes.

Thank you for the accept and bonus- I really appreciate it!

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

You're welcome Jean. You deserve even more in my opinion (if I had it). Thank you for your reply.

I was cleaning out my e-mail inbox and came accross an e-mail from my husband back on 5/29/12 ( a year ago). Keep in mind he had been having an affair with the other woman almost a year at that point. Does this look like a man who was unhappy with his wife? He was supportive of me and always encouraged me when I was down and worried about our bills and things. He even added quotes to the e-mail to try and cheer me up. Now you see why I was shocked that he left me almost 8 months ago for someone else? I can’t make any sense of this. What are your thoughts?


Hey Sweetie, I know you are stuck in your dark place and I cant pull you out. :( But I am here. I am positive. I know things are not where you want them, but I want you to keep your chin up, I know you dont think the same way I do or see things the way I do, but you keep going, we have so much to be thankful for compared to bad. I have a couple bookmarks of quotes, and I shared some with you. I know you may think its silly, but I am just gonna keep being the optimist. Dont think I dont know how dire things are, but we will be okay in the end. You have to believe that or whats the point in moving forward. :)

Love You Baby.

Hope you have a nice day!



If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.

Zen Proverb

The mind that is anxious about future events is miserable.


There are no classes in life for beginners: right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult.

Rainer Maria Rilke

Men's best successes come after their disappointments.


The best way out is always through.

Robert Frost

Money talks, but all it ever says is good-bye.

American Proverb

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.

Albert Einstein

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it.

Chinese Proverb

Wow, I see what you mean. That was just about a year ago. In some way, somehow, you were losing yourself, how could you be "available" in the marriage when you were consumed with "stuff". Looking back is ALWAYS clearer. You are looking at this with different eyes now than you would have back then. It was nothing you planned- go easy on yourself.

Those quotes are sweet, and somehow may speak to you about where things are right now in your life- i.e. "the best way out is through". He was trying his darnedest to pull you out of the place you were in then. In his focus on "saving" you at that time, he may have lost himself in the process- all with the best of intentions of course! He may have sought that relationship as an "escape", but was living a double life. How can a person do that, is right!

No it still does not make anymore sense does it!

Have a good one!

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I just wanted to check in with you and let you know what's going on. I'm replying on this thread because I need to talk about the Facebook crap again. Yell

Well, so far she isn't putting any pictures of them two as her profile or on the Facebook cover. However, when my husband puts a status on his Facebook news feed, he makes it public for anyone to see. It's like he wants me to see his statuses. He has been doing this since I told him we can't be friends, which was 2.5 months ago. I don't remember if I mentioned that to you or not. I may not have since he wasn't putting anything up that bad.

However, now for the last two weeks he mentions her name in his FB statuses quite often. He had surgery a few weeks back and his first status where he mentions her says that he is being taken care of by a good nurse. She comments and says...And who would that be???? She actually did put 4 question marks. It's like she wanted to be acknowledged by name so I would see it. And how cruel is that for him to make that public and not change it to friends on FB? What is wrong with him? Anyway, ever since that status, there have been more with her name (when there wasn't before). It's like he is trying to get my attention and make me jealous. I just don't get it. All the hurt he has caused me and he wants to continue to cause me more. All I can think of is that he must think I don't care or ever did care I guess, or maybe he hates me for some reason. What do you think about this behavior?

The last status with them two was about him flirting with another woman in a store. He actually put that in a status with her name (so it would show up on her wall) as if he was even trying to provoke her. And it worked because she made comments about it under his status, talking about him flirting with a young girl and that it got him in trouble and on and on. I think my husband has a serious ego problem. Do you think he could be a narcissist? He is already trying to make her jealous? WTH?


With all this said, I guess my exposure letter didn't mean a thing. They both don't care because they talk about their relationship on Facebook in the open for all to see. It's as if they don't care and they have no shame. These two have no conscious in my opinion.

Yikes, lets "hang it all out there" for all to see!! It does not reflect well, nor impress people when such nonsense is posted on line, is nothing sacred these days. It sound more like two people who are insecure and need the attention outside of them self to feel better.

I don't know if your husband is narcissistic? It sounds like this relationship has been an opportunity to "escape" from reality for a bit. However, as time goes on, reality still applies, and things will not seem so "good", "wonderful", "perfect".

Have you considered blocking them from your Facebook, even if it were for a few weeks. Knowing you keep up on what is on Facebook, only gives them an outlet to throw it in your face, or feel like they are making digs to you.

Your exposure letter, and your statement you can not be friends, was best for you. How he or she took it, well, not so sure. Him posting stuff on Facebook that hurts you is likely driven by pressure from her to seek some validation, attention, from him for "all" to see.

Again, that death of a relationship, but unlike a death of a person, the coffin, and hurt keeps popping up. Just as soon as you feel better, ouch the bandage is ripped off, and has to heal again.

I hope you are still pursuing those things you enjoy, directing your home all "girly", and finding joy.

Good to hear from you Marie!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Well, I have to admit something to you. I blocked him from my actual FB account, but I have another account that I can use for spying since he has his statuses public. I know, I know. I'm just torturing myself, but I can't help looking. It's like being a fly on the wall. And also, the reason I started looking at his FB account was to see if he was making a fool out of me by mentioning her name and basically showing people that he doesn't really care about people knowing about their affair. It is a way for me to keep tabs on him to see if he was continuing to humiliate me in public and of course he is.

I think what you said about her wanting him to recognize her is correct. She is probably feeling insecure about their relationship so this is his way of trying to make her feel more secure. If that's the case though, then my question about this is why try and make her jealous by flirting with some young girl in front of her in a store? He didn't even behave that way when he was with me. Something is seriously F**Ked up about that.

They sound like they are on sort of "teenage" planet, stage in their life- in what they post, immature, petty, superficial, and just not important. Posting that he is flirting with some young girl in store sounds a bit "sick". Like you said messed up!

Hey that might be why we are not able to be a "fly on the wall", some things, we may not need to see or hear for our own mental health and well being. Spying can give you information, a sneak peek into their life, but being careful taking on the idea the digs are against you. It sounds like it's feeding more their insecurities, and need, than blasting you. Try to separate yourself from that- don't take it on- that's the stuff that hurts. Let them have it, and look the fools.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

They don't know 100% that I am looking because I don't tell anyone that I am. I never say anything to him about it. What's even sicker is that he still continues to do things for me at the house and act nice to me in e-mails.

I heard that his behavior is Wayward Fog behavior according to Marriage Builders. It's like a being from another planet has invaded his body and mind and he acts completely different. Like you said...Teenagers. Marriage Builders says that's what fantasy affairs are and that's how they act. I also go on to FB and look at his statuses because I am trying to find proof that they are living together. I asked him in an e-mail if he moved, but he said no.


Also, what do you think about Marriage Builders? Do you think they are a good organization?



Marriage Builders is a good resource for people, many people do find it helpful. I'm not super familiar. I like the "Wayward Fog" reference. Resources, educational, support, therapy, can be an important component in working through the struggles in life- whether they are personal or relational.

Yes- the person you thought you knew seems like a stranger, or an "alien". This is a common struggle for people in situations similar to yours- the disbelief, shock, the what is up?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hi Jean,

It's been awhile since we talked. I hope all is well on your end. Well, things are the same between my husband and I. Right now he is dragging his feet on getting things from the house. I even suggested he turn over his keys. He said he would but of course he made sure he mentioned a few things that might change my mind on taking them from him. What he said worked, so it's the status quo for now.

Also, I asked him if I could keep running my end of the business until January and then take my name off the business. He actually said yes to this. In other words he is letting me control all the finances of it, which means he has to ask me how much he can take out of the business each week. What the hell? I can only imagine what is bimbo girlfriend thinks about this. Why would he continue to let me have control like this? Of course the reason I suggested it is because I will benefit from it. I don't trust that he will be able to keep the books correctly and will run the business in the ground because of it. I want to make sure I keep getting paid from it so I suggested having a hand in it until then. Basically, I'm putting it off so to speak. What are you thoughts on this?

Hello Marie,

Glad to hear from you. I will respond back to you over the lunch hour. It's 10 a.m. ish here now, so in about two hours I will have time.

Hello Marie,
Wow it's hard to believe it's Aug. 19th already!! Sounds like you are both shocked and surprised that he has agreed to you taking care of the financial end of the business. He knows you too well- knows you do a better job than him. He also may be continuing to appease you, because of what's happened. He could be trying to avoid conflict and do just about anything to keep others happy. Like you said, you wonder what kind of response his gf has had. He may be somehow working it so she does not know!?? For whatever reason, it sounds good for you that this has happened. One thing for you to feel a bit of empowerment. It's okay and wise for you to be thinking of your future- good for you! You've worked hard in this business, and it's one thing you can continue to keep a "handle" on, unlike the mess that's happened this past year. You are making wise decisions and need to continue to protect yourself.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I know and I can’t believe it’s been almost a year this Oct since my husband left. At this point I don’t even want him back. I just want him to still love me and care about me and have some regrets. I know that is strange isn’t it? I want her out of our lives so bad. I really hate her and most days I really hate him. Him coming back would never work anyway if I even had that option. There is no trust. Like my Mom said, it would take some kind of woman to take back someone who hurt me as bad as he did. I can’t even describe it. I go through complete hell. There is no hurt as bad as the hurt of rejection of your long time spouse and the shock of knowing your spouse was living a double life. In fact I read somewhere that what I am going through is worse than a parent losing a child. Have you ever heard that? I don’t have children, but I can believe it to some degree.

The last few days I have had to see him because we are going through a bankruptcy. It’s been hard on me. I was hoping since it has been almost a year that it would be getting easier, but it’s not at all. I hate being alone here at the house. I have gone out of town a few times by myself and I enjoyed it even though it was just me. He knew about it because he took care of the dogs. He didn’t ask me where I was going, but I found out he mentioned to his Mom that I went out of town two times and he told one of our mutual friends who told me. I don’t know the details of what he said to his Mom or to the friend. Anyway, I hate the weekends. It seems Saturday is the worst because I know they both are together on Saturdays and then will go out Saturday evening to dinner or whatever.

Anyway, you are not going to believe what he said to me yesterday when I saw him. I told him that if he wanted to start coming back over to the house on weekends to work in the yard, that it was OK. I told him that I know it’s hard for him to get any yard work done during the week because he is working. He told me that he was wondering when he would get to come over again and that he has been reading about what I have been going through and the stages of grief. He even said that he could tell which stage I was in according to my e-mails. Keep in mind he and I never talk on the phone and we haven’t seen each other in about 4 months until two days ago. WTH???????????????? Don’t you think that is weird Jean? Why would he even be interested in what I am going through? Why would he waste his time? And last I checked, he is not a psychologist. I about fell in the floor laughing over that BS. I think he made it up. This happened when he came to my job to pick up some paperwork yesterday. And while we were standing out there in the parking lot talking I could tell he wanted to keep touching me and hugging me, but I think he knew I didn’t want him to touch me.

Well, like I was discussing before, I guess the reason I was surprised about him letting me basically control the business until the end of the year was because I thought he wanted my hands out of it ASAP so he could re-name the business after the bankruptcy and control it himself. This way he would completely be free of me. Basically, I would think if she knew what he said to me, she would be ticked off. But, this woman strikes me as the type that no matter what he does, she will hang on to him. She doesn’t even realize that he is using both of us by having sex with her and having his cake with me by figuring out some way to keep me in his life for some reason. I hope you can try and help me decode all this stuff I asked you. Smile



Hope your Sat. isn't too lonely. Thanks for allowing me to be part of your day. I am sorry for your sadness, your struggle in all of this. This sort of loss is absolutely like a death- right up there with the loss of a child. Wow was it b.s. or he had a b.s.???lol in his comments about the "stage" of grief and loss you are in.


It does sound like he's thinking about you, missing you. The way you describe him wanting to hug you etc. He does care- the guilt, remorse, and loss of you. He may be sensing that you have "moved on"- less likely to wait around for him. He may have bee sustained in knowing you continued to love him-even though he's the one who stepped out of marriage. Is he maybe sensing that closure?? It's back to speculating but natural for you to continue to have questions and wanting answers. You have been hurt beyond words by the man you planned to spend the rest of your life with.


You wound of thunk she would react to his contact with you. You are the cake!!! A beautifully decorated comfort food-like the comfy slippersLaughing. The time and love he's shared with you runs deep and he is missing you my friend.


Have a good Sat. you deserve it. Always good to hear from you!





Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Oh my goodness Jean you made me cry. You have a way with words. If he misses me and the love we shared, I wonder why he doesn't leave her and try and get back with me? I get mixed messages from him. I never hear from him on the weekends through texts or e-mail so I assume he is happy with her. I know he sees her every weekend. However, I get e-mails from him every single day during the week. Sometimes he tries to have conversations with me in those e-mails. It's so confusing. Like I said I don't want him back and we can't be friends really, but I hate not being able to talk to him. I miss him.

Crying is healing!! Of course you miss him

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!! Life throws us curve balls for sure- not really knowing what the future holds. It sounds like he contacts you when he's away from her- hmm five days in a week that he contacts you and she gets two and a half days

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. The new-ness of that relationship will wear off- reality maybe is already setting in. When the relationship was lust and high excitement he was more preoccupied I suppose. Now that it's been a while, there are more windows when he thinks of you. Those mixed messages are most difficult- gives you enough to hold on to. The loss, the grief, hard to come to that closure when he keeps "popping up" vs. a death where the coffin is in the ground- and we are forced to come to a "close".

You take the best care,