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Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1523
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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Im adopted. Found out about a year ago. My parents planned

Customer Question

I'm adopted. Found out about a year ago. My parents planned it to remain valid secret forever but well... Ever since I've had insecurity problems, mostly shown in my relationship with my boyfriend. I now don't like solitude, at first I even started crying every time a was home alone. Now it has been much better, but I still show insecurity issues. Also nobody knows anything about my biological family, my godfather found me all alone, I still had my umbilical cord. That makes me so curious, but my mom would be too hurt if I tell her I'm curious.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 4 years ago.
Tell me exactly how finding out you are adopted changed things about you? I am puzzled by that because you are the same person whether or not you are adopted. What would you like for me to help you with?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I know that, I just figured that was the cause of the problem because that didn'ever happened to me before. In fact I made up my mind that in order for my mom to understand exactly what you just said I needed to act as I always have, it was really painful for her and dramatic, she told me stories about how she felt like I wasn't hers, and that somebody would come any day to claim me. She even got me sucking in her boobs just to feel that sensation of breastfeeding. She cried too much over me finding out. So I was the one assuring her that everything was still the same, that I wouldn't love her less just because she didn't gave birth to me. I really can say that I took it very naturally, even with my mom and dad being really sad about it. I'm just saying that this insecurity thing started a few weeks after that. Suddenly I felt anxious if I was in the street, surrounded by strangers, and started acting very insecure with my boyfriend, always craving his presence.
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 4 years ago.
I think your moms actions and guilt trips are really taking a toll on you. There is no reason to act or feel differently just by finding out you are adopted. I think moms behavior has made you change.