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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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Ive been divorce for 3 years + and have dated a few women.

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I've been divorce for 3 years + and have dated a few women. Now recently I got in touch with a girl i had known for many years. We had not seen each other for many years. Well we went out to dinner to catch up on old times. We had an instant connection. Though we had not seen each other for many years, when we were together it was like we had always been close. I really like this women and she seems very happy around me. I almost want to marry her but i think its to soon. We have gone out on other dates and it looks like she enjoys my company. Well, I want to do everything right to keep her interested. I know she is a good catch and a keeper. She is a good person and humble. I've all ready asked her to be my girlfriend. Well just like to know what i need to do to keep her happy and not loose interest in me. Thanks.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 4 years ago.

Deardebra : The key to a successful relationship is communication.
Deardebra : It is important to listen to her wants and needs.
Deardebra : If she always knows how you feel about her then she will not ever question how you feel.
Deardebra : I fine that people do not tell each other enough how they feel which leaves the other person guessing causing people to back away because they are unsure about how the other person feels.
Deardebra : A good idea is to ask her about the future so you can understand her interests and goals.
Deardebra : Your both know there is an instant connection.
Deardebra : Now you want to plan for the future together. You want to know her goals, hobbies, and her personality.
Deardebra : You both like spending time together. I see a very strong connection from what you have described. You even mentioned marriage and I feel you should also discuss marriage. Just you saying the word marriage she will know you are very interested in her.
Deardebra : Women look for little signs to see if the person is interested so if marriage comes up they know that this person is not afraid of commitment, which is very important in a relationship. Also it shows you are not afraid to talk about important parts of a relationship.
Deardebra : your divorced and dated a few women so you know this women is very special.
Deardebra : You want her to get to know you but also listen to what she is saying.
Deardebra : You want to be open and honest so the relationship builds trust.
Deardebra : You do not want to discuss too much of your past marriage you want to tell her your divorced things just didn't work out. The reason why is because you want her to know the focus is on her. That the past is in the past you moved on.
Deardebra : You can tell her your happy and are enjoying spending time with her.
Deardebra : One thing I want you to remember how you feel inside, your true feelings. She will only know how you feel if you tell her.
Deardebra : So be expressive.
Deardebra : If you are sitting there thinking I wish this night could last forever, tell her.
Deardebra : Because the whole time she is wondering what your thinking and if your having a good time.
Deardebra : So you tell her so she doesn't have to worry the whole time.
Deardebra : You want to set up romantic dates so you can connection.
Deardebra : Examples would be places where it is easy to talk. A walk in the park, a beach, or even just a nice quiet place where you can talk. Get to know each other.
Deardebra : This will create a connection.
Deardebra : WWhen it is you and her in a quiet setting you with can focus on each other.
Deardebra : You asked her to be your girlfriend so she knows you are very serious about her. Relationships are very new and exciting so she is learning about you your learning about her.
Deardebra : Your doing everything right. I want you to continue to be yourself because I feel she is seeing you for you and that is the person she wants to be with. She said yes to being your girlfriend, that means she wants to be with you and see a life with you in the future.
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