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TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5809
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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okay well only that my husband ignores my existence but will

Resolved Question:

okay well only that my husband ignores my existence but will wake up in the morning and say how are you? Then I tell him it sounds fake and he tells me that I am fake. and when I tell him I don't trust him he tells me I'm trying to control him and he has to watch his back. The problem is I told him where is the concern or the care in your statements? he has such a twisted way of seeing
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 4 years ago.
Ignoring your existence then saying how are you in the morning is a bit odd. It leaves you not knowing where you stand with him. Does he really care or is he just asking to play a game or just out of curiosity? It is hard to tell. If he was more consistent with his treatment of you, then it would make sense that he asks you how you are doing. But he is inconsistent in how he treats you.

It is possible that he is testing you to see how you will respond. But even then, would he treat you with more kindness and care if you were to respond to him the way he wants? There is no way to know. You could try it to see what he does. For example, you can respond "I'm well, how are you?" to see what he says and how he treats you afterwards.

If you do not want to do that, it is probably a good idea to just say "fine" in response and let it go. You can inquire about why he does this, but most likely he will just respond as he already has and nothing will get cleared up.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Okay thank you kate. its very odd. Good day.
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 4 years ago.
You're welcome!

It is odd. But it is also normal for someone who is narcissistic and maybe has control issues. It is just hard to deal with when you are looking for normal behavior.

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