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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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Hi, I have been seeing a guy for 5 years now. We have our own

Customer Question

Hi, I have been seeing a guy for 5 years now. We have our own homes which I use only when I have my kids and I stay with him when I dont. We do not see each other when we have our kids unless he has invited us to his cottage by the coast.
He has now advised he is not happy, as I come home sit in the TV Room have a cup of coffee watch TV with him. He makes supper and then by 11pm I fall asleep on the couch.
He does my washing when I am there - its his house his washing machine?? The house is his not mine so am I being silly by saying that I need to move on or he must change our living arrangements to make me feel at home ? I dont know if this makes sense?? We dont go to movies, restuarants if we do go out it to sit in pubs as this is what he like to do?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 4 years ago.
Hello. The bottom line is that you are going to have to talk with him about your arrangement and why you are both not happy. It doesn't seem as though he is interested in a serious relationship based on what you say. The specific issue about the washing machine may not be a big deal, as people have their preferences to things like this which don't really mean anything significant. Usually, in a normal relationship, dates will include dinner, movies and a variety of activities. It should not be just about what he likes to do. It does not seem as though he takes your needs into consideration. You need to discuss this with him. He may or may not realize that you are viewing the situation such as you are. You really need to have a conversation about it to see where he stands on it before you make your decision on whether to stay or go. It isn't just about his happiness. If you are not happy and you do not see things changing, this is something you need to consider. He stated he is not happy. Find out why and explain to him why you are not happy. If you both are not willing to change things to be happy, then you need to think about moving on.