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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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I have left a lesbian relationship. I have no interest in being

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I have left a lesbian relationship. I have no interest in being with women in an intimate way. I have lost all self-esteem. I would like to date men, but I am afraid they will reject me because of my past. Any suggestions?

Deardebra : Men are very understanding when it comes to a lesbian past and I will explain.
Deardebra : You should always be open about your past in a relationship but that does not have to be the first thing you say when you start a relationship.
Deardebra : That would be around the third date.
Deardebra : You want the person to get to know you first before you tell them your past. You have now decided that you want to date men so you have made that choice. Most men would be fine with that but you can be sure that they will be asking questions.
Deardebra : When it comes to men they think differently and I feel that they will have no problem accepting your past.
Deardebra : I do not want you to be afraid when it comes to a good start in a relationship is getting to know someone for who they are, it is best to be open and honest.
Deardebra : Let the guy get to know you.
Deardebra : Now lets talk about your self-esteem for a moment.
Deardebra : When someone gets to know someone and they develop feelings for them their love continues to grow. They then quickly realize they do not want to be without the one they love.
Deardebra : As people get to the stage of love they are very accepting of who the person is because they love the person so much that the past is not important because they are only looking towards the future with their new founnd love.
Deardebra : You need to look at all the amazing qualities that you have and look at a relationship that someone will love you for you.
Deardebra : When going through break ups it takes time to heal and understand emotions.
Deardebra : Can it effect self-esteem of course it can.
Deardebra : But as time passes and you begin to heal, you will find that self-esteem again.
Deardebra : You want to have a relationship that is positive. A relationship that is exciting and new, the one where you can't wait to see the person and you can see yourself with that person long term.
Deardebra : When two people fall in love they learn to be understanding of the past and they know that that is the past and the person they love made a choice to be with them.

Thank you. I have very low self-esteem not because the relationship is over, but because it should have been over a long, long time ago and I hung on to it for the wrong reasons. Thank you for your advice and I am looking forward to starting a new life with someone.

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