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Ask Rev.Dr. August Abbott Your Own Question
Rev.Dr. August Abbott
Rev.Dr. August Abbott, Clergy
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7608
Experience:  Ordained minister: Counselor (spiritual/life)
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trying to schedule date with new guy

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Ok, I just meet a guy online today and we have made arrangements to meet up Thursday. At first I told him I need to get a babysitter and lets meet up this weekend, and he asked why I can come over and we can all fun till the baby falls asleep. I later text. I do let guys come until I get to knwo them better and woudl you us meeting in a public place and I dont mind bring the kid with me? After I caught what i text I said Idont let guys come over, and he text I wasto say you will turn off with that  last text.   I told him to call me later with the detail and he calls in 10 minutes, and asked would you have a problem bringing bringing your daughter with when we go out because my son was masulated by his uncle. He proceeded to tell he trust no one not even family and he starts to curse and asked would Ihave a problem with because we can cut it off now and you can find another man. I mean he seem to curse alot and I asked do you curse around kids and he said i try not to but sedomly. He told me if we go out alone he trust his cousin to watch her because he knows he will nt let any touch her. I am on the phone saying to myself I dont knw you or your cousin, I found he smoke ciageretts and explain my daughter has ashma. I am debating if I should even go out with him or meet him. from the looks of his pic he looks nothing like he sounds, Any thoughts? I need to add he text earlier and ask if I wanted to pursue this and I told him if you enjoy each ohter company then yes.  So I believe he already took the role that i am his.  He tells I dont play games and I will let you know what on my mind if I hurt your feeling s arenot. He says as far as anybody watching the baby you will have double f/****ing protection with me , I wanted to kill my uncle for touching my son but family told me not to,  Does he have too much baggage to deal with? 

-- Your instincts are spot on! Trust that feeling of uneasiness coursing through your veins right now.

This guy is showing lack of respect in several ways: First, trying to make you do something with your child that you are uncomfortable doing. That indicates he's a manipulator and a control freak and it will only get worse as time goes on. A good man would defer to the mother of the child and even if he doesn't agree with mom's decisions he will honor her wishes - no matter what. That's how it should be.

Secondly, he's being vulgar. A gentleman will never use foul language in front of a lady. Again, this shows lack of respect.

Finally, as a parent he should understand your wanting to protect your child. As a bully he doesn't care that you want to protect your child.

Your question is "does he have too much baggage to deal with?", my answer is a resounding "YES!"

Not just baggage but red flags and warning bells that he is disrespectful, manipulative and a bully.

You deserve MUCH better than this. Break it off before you get wrapped up in it and hurt. He's not the only man out there. You'll find the right one when it's time. Don't rush it

Rev.Dr. August Abbott and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I just texted him and said sorry I dont think this will work. He responsed no probelm..thank you for letting me know now I dont have to waste my time. I did not respond. Normally, I am always passive in getting to know someone but I glad I do. he reminded of my ex bf that was mentally abusive too me.

Be sure to ignore any attempts he makes to get you to respond. You have a very good head on your shoulders and I think you just needed some support and to hear it from someone else. I believe you already knew there was something 'not right' about this guy

Your little girl is VERY lucky to have you as a mom

Rev.Dr. August Abbott and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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