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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Customer Question

A pers

Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 4 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

Your question was not completely transcribed. All it said was: "A pers"

If you would be kind enough to re-enter the question I would be happy to help you.

Warm regards,

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Hello I did not get to finish the question I had sorry. Im having problems at work with my coworker and boss my co worker like basically harasses me by provoking me to get upset when she socializes at work. I got so upset because I do so much work and I feel like my coworker can do what whatever shes wants, I got so upset and walked off because it just bothers me that no one really likes me because of her she is friends with like everyone in the work place and I feel they do not like me because of her. I feel like my boss is to friendly with her as well to because they talk about things that I never knew about unless it was said before I came into work. I spoke with my boss privately and I told him that she basically owns the work place and I guess I just have to accept that things will never change He told me be carful when I talk about people because people are going to think you are going crazy which I know Im not crazy. My boss had said he was sorry if he seems hard on me sometimes and that he cares for me. He actually asked to call me privately when no one is around. I'm really confused about that one. Im just so sad because I feel like im always that bad person complaining about things my boss said don't think about those things. I feel like these people have messed me up big time and I have no idea why my boss wants to talk to me privately.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 4 years ago.
Dear j,

It sounds as if you are having a hard time adjusting to this work environment.

The woman who is giving you a hard time probably does "own" the social turf of your place of employment and may be a bit jealous of her.

She can try all you want to provoke you, and if she succeeds then she wins. If you do not let yourself be provoked then YOU win.

Go about your business and never let her provoke you If she does she will keep doing it over and over. If you do not respond, not with words, and not with body language, then she will see that you are on to her game and she will quit.

Even if you do not like her, the best way to control her is to be nice to her no matter what. That means answering her politely with a smile, but not trying to be her buddy. Keep you distance and be friendly in a cool distant way.

As far as your boss is concerned, he may or may not call you to talk to you privately. Just listen to him. He sounds as if he is on your side and will be nice to you.

Don't worry about him. He's the boss. Give him the respect that he expects from you and listen to what he has to say. You don't have to be his best friend to work there - just be on good terms with him and everythone else.

If you want some expert opinion in book form, I highly recommend this one:

Coping with Difficult People: The Proven-Effective Battle Plan That Has Helped Millions Deal with the Troublemakers... by Robert M. Bramson


I wish you great success and I shall keep you in my prayers.


Warm regards,