I'm sorry Tasha, I'm afraid I'm much better at what goes on in our hearts and minds and relationships than at how to meet the right people. I know that the last time I was looking, at 41 in 1984, I placed a Personals ad in the SanFranciscoBay Guardian, where only letters could be sent in response. I gave age, college degree, professions, and favorite interests and said "looking to settle down" and got 45 replies from one ad. Women wanted Serious, men wanted "friendship & adventure." Internet meetings move too fast, with the normal shyness and caution being left behind because all you see is nice words.
Shame is a category of inborn emotions that warns us against possible social damage, just as fear warns us against physical damage. But when you can't see and be seen, there's no shame--so actions can be SHAMELESS, meaning gay and risky, or excessively exciting or totally disregarding moral concerns and any caring for the other person.
Were you born in 1955? Your age could play a role in how best to meet men. The old ways were to go to gatherings where people engaged in one of your professional or leisure or entertainment or spiritual activities would gather. Today perhaps you'd go online to social network sites for people in your type of profession, or other significant interest. I actually met the woman who I would soon choose to marry at a privately organized but publically organized potluck for people in the "helping professions," meaning medicine, health, teaching and psychotherapy.
The other advice I can give without knowing more about you is MEET the person face2face in a public coffee-or-lunch place and ask him probing questions about his work, his living situation, his past relationships, his family ties, and his most precious beliefs, values and goals. You might be reluctant to question a new guy, because you're too busy feeling awkward about YOU being on the spot like in an audition to play the part of his one&only girlfriend and future wife to realize that YOU can turn the tables with such questions and get HIM to audition for the role YOU want from him. When you're asking questions like these, you'll reflect on what YOU value in your work, what you want in a living situation, what your most precious beliefs, values and goals are, and very important, what your attitude has been towards love relationships. I suggest you think about those questions and write your answers down, so you'll know when the guy says something that rubs you the wrong way. If the guy Dodges your questions and starts joking around like a boxer trying to keep on the move so you can't reach him where he is inside, then you know you're dealing with somebody with too much to hide: He's an adventurer with no place to really stand; so you don't need him.
(Of course he'll jab back to put you on the defensive instead of him. But don't fall for that--even if your self-confidence is so shaky after 5 years that you just want any chance at a relationship you can get. Just tell him to contact you when he's ready to get sincere about answering your questions--because you want a real man, not a playerman. Leave then and you won't get hurt by giving yourself too easily.)
On the other hand, if you don't want to answer some of those questions yourself, which he would have every right to ask, then you can explore what your experience has been in those areas of your life before you go in search of the right guy for you.
I may sound like I really know what I'm doing--and I might, if I were looking again as you are. But I'm not you, so don't compare yourself to me. Maybe you've never learned how to stand up to a man, and that's not simple when you haven't tried it.
Those are some ideas for tonight.