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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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let new guy go? yes or no

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I believe this will be my last time asking for advice for awhile. I sent him a text by 11:15 am it  say's I am not sure if you got my last text,,wanted to know how you are doing? He did not responsed. I even called him at 2:00 pm still no response I told him Hey this is Tee and I was just calling to see how you are doing and would like to know if youcan try to resend his pictures to my phone because I just got a new phone. I am not sure but I think he has lost interest. If he does not call, I will probably send him a text I believe you have lost interest , if so have a nice life. I will not send this till tomorrow though. Any ideas?  It is now  3:10 pm and he goes to work for 4 pm. 

Deardebra : I want you to wait until he response.

for how long a day


I probably should not have text or called at would have been easier to deal with


maybe I should keep my options open and talk to other guys

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I want you to wait for him to contact you now. I feel that he is waiting to contact you on purpose that he is letting you chase him. But you need to let him come too you now. Let him think that you are becoming less interested. Once you stop texting and calling he will wonder where you went and panic then he will contact you. His emotions seems to be up and down all the time one minute he is loving you and the next he is busy living his life. He needs to balance both out. He can not just not reply back and wait a day he needs to respond to keep you interested, He doesn't seem to realize that you putting in all the effort might just walk away if he put nothing back into the relationship.
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

He replied ok ..and said head hurts. I did not respond and don't plan to unless he text or call again. Am i wrong for doing that? He respond by 8 pm that night.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

He response yesterday by 8 pm with a text head hurts. I did not respond back, I feel like I should wait till after his 2nd text or phone call to make contact. I guess I am still upset. Is this a good choice?

This is what I want you to do. He said his head hurt so you want to show that you care about how he feels, so you want to text this too him. I hope that you are feelings better, I was worried about you. How is your head? That is good that he did respond because he could have just not responded anything so he was focused on his head hurting but he still contacted you. He needed to rest but he did check in so you would not get worried that he would not respond. I would text and just ask him if he is ok and also ask if he needs anything. he will see that you care about how he is doing and how he feels.
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I feel hurt. He texted me after I sent him the message about I hope yo feel better? How is your head? and let me know if you need anything. He quickly response ok,,thanks/ Later on , he text and me Tasha I want to do this now? So I text do what? He says a relationship. I told him I would love to he then replies I dont want to date u looking,,so I said awww I feel the same way. I dont have a problem with us being exclusive. He then texts I can't talk to u. I said What? i am confused. Please explain. Do you want to stop communicating? he says yes. I responded your right I guess things are not working out. As soon as I get home he texted good bye.. I wanted to cuss him out but instead I said tell your new woman I said hello? I am hurt now..what gives with him?

I feel you should text him or call and get an explanation. He needs to tell you why he is not interested in a relationship. It just sounds too me that he is overwhelmed with emotions like he can not handle being in a relationship with you. I think his feelings are to strong and he does not know how to handle how he feels. I think he thinks he is going to get hurt and just can not handle the heart break. I do not want you to assume he has someone else because I do feel he has feelings for you bit is very confused. I think he might not know how you feel about him like you are going to leave him. I feel he is just very confused I want you to text and tell him this is not what you wanted and that you do care about him. That your feelings are real.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

dont you think I woudl feel embarassed telling him that and he may laugh at me? I texted but I feel desperate doing this. I texted that Sorry to bother you but I am curious why you wanted to stop talking? Honestly I do have feelings for you and I do care for you. I dont feel he will response back, I feel that I digging a dipper wound for myself.

I do not think he will laugh at you I think he needs to know how you feel. I think it was a good idea texting him, he needs to know how you feel about him so there is no confusion. You want him to know that you did not want the same thing. I feel he is very confused about how he feels and if you truly love him or if you are just going through the motions of being in love with him. He needs to see that you did not want any part of breaking up. You wanted to work this out and continue to date each other. I feel that he wanted to make a commitment but didn't know what to do or say, so as he got more overwhelmed he decided not to even try and he backed off. Now you need to show him that you are there you want to be there for him. You do care about him and you feel this could work if he gave you a chance.
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

he reponsed and he sad I can't I am sorry please stop. I am blocking his number now..cause I feel foolish.

Do not block his number just in case he changes his mind. When he says I am sorry please stop. This is him saying he just can not do this right now it is to hard for him. It means he has feelings for you but does not know how to deal with his emotions. He is asking you to stop because he thinks he can get over you if he doesn't hear from you, but what he doesn't realize is he will not get over you, he is going to struggling and that is when you might hear from him, so do not block his number.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

ok..I feel by then I may have someone

He could realize this in a few days. I do not feel it will take him long for him to realize that he can not live without you. His emotions are just confused. People some times think that they are better off not getting in a relationship because they do not want to take the risk of getting their heart broken, so they back away. There are also people that think they should leave because they convince themselves that the person does not love them, even though it is not true. Out of fear and confusion they leave. Never even trying to give the relationship a chance. But then they realize that they can not live without the person, so they quickly try to get the person back,some times the person they left never gets over them leaving because now they are hurt, but some people get back together to have a strong relationship once they talk out why they left. I think that he needs time to think about how he really feels.
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