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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5808
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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hi Kate, I hope all all is well with you. my son will come

Resolved Question:

hi Kate, I hope all all is well with you. my son will come home for a couple weeks in between classes.There is tension between us from the past. Here is what hurt me terribly. He told me reluctantly that I am 95% percent on his anxiety andDad is only 5 percent. He said this is because he doesn't speak to Dad and his in the past and enmeshed with me. I told him as he grows, he may see things more objectively
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 4 years ago.
Hello Dee,

Everything is good here, thank you :)

I'm sorry to hear about your son and what he said to you. It's understandable that you would feel angry because he is comparing you to your husband, which is going to bring all the feelings up from your conflicts with your husband. But what is important to remember here is that your son is young yet and doesn't understand your perspective on this situation. He also has formed a closer bond with you, even if at this point that bond is a bit damaged and is in process of being healed. By telling you that he is only anxious about his father a little bit and most of that is because he doesn't really interact with him, your son is basically telling you that he is closer to you and therefore his relationship with you has a greater impact on him. For now that may not seem too good because things are not healed between you, but as your relationship does improve, you will be closer to your son than your husband is. Plus you are willing to fix the issues with your son, whereas your husband will probably be the same with him, not allowing for any healing between him and your son.

TherapistMaryAnn and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 4 years ago.
Thank you Dee! I hope it goes well with your son. If I can help in any other way, let me know.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thank you. Much appreciated. Glad all is well with you.
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 4 years ago.
You're welcome. Take care :)