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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3433
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I just want to die; to know that I could have had a man all

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I just want to die; to know that I could have had a man all along is something I cannot live with. I have wasted half my life. My partner was not "safer" or better or more satisfying than a man in any way. I am not saying she is not a wonderful person, because she is my best friend and she is a very, very nice person. I just violated myself in a way that you cannot understand unless you have experienced it. How, how could I have been so stupid????? What kind of life have I lived, anyway??? I want a man, but now it is probably too late to find anyone that will actually love me. I am not a pretty woman, and I have a lot of health problems, so I doubt anyone will be interested anyway. Any suggestions for how I can cope? I try not to beat my self up, but it is like staying in a abusive relationship for years and then finally realizing you should not have been there at all...I don't even feel like a real woman anymore, I just exist. To think I gave up all my hopes and dreams....

CoachJenK :

IT sounds to me as if you are keeping up this abuse toward yourself with this harsh negativity. I would suggest that you see someone face to face to have the safe place to work through it all. Would you be open to that?

CoachJenK :

I am stepping away for several hours and will respond as soon as I am back by my computer later this evening. I am hoping you are open to getting some face to face support. You deserve it.


Thank you so much for your support. I have had some face to face support in the past, but I am open to getting more again.

TherapistJen and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
I am so glad to hear that. Do you need my help in locating someone or is there someone whom you can call and see? If you need my help let me know what city you are in and I can provide you with some names. Hang in there! Be kind to yourself too!

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