first of all Dr. Brown, I thank you for your response. You pointed out possibilities that I hadn't realized. I had initially only read part of you're response because it's all that was available. Only tonight did I realize that you re-submitted your full response to me. So without reading your advice I texted her yesterday because I felt there were things to be said on both our parts. I said I would like to talk to her and asked her if I call her later in the day. After a few hours she responded. I think it's just easier if I put the exact text exchange we had up here so that you can fully read it how it was sent. So here it is:
Me: Hey I was thinking a lot lately and although normally I wouldn't do this, this time I feel I should. I'd like to talk with you if that's ok. I feel like there are some things to be said on both our parts. So if you have some time later I'd like to call you. Is that ok with you?
Her: I'm sorry I have a lot on my plate right now, I can't talk nor do I feel there is anything to discuss. My priorities now are solely my career and my child. I hope you can understand that. You are a great person and I truly wish you the best.
Me: If you really think I'm a great person then you would give me a chance to talk to you. It's all I want, I don't think it's too much to ask. It won't take up much of your time at all. I feel with what we've been through together I deserve at least that. So please do me a favor and let us talk today ok ? After that, I'll leave you alone if it's what you want. You know I'll keep my word.
Her: I'm really sorry, I can't. Please respect that. I really don't want to continue this conversation. I have a lot going on personally and professionally. Thanks.
Me: Well it's funny but you think you know someone and then it turns out you don't know anything at all. I didn't think it was too much to ask to have a simple conversation with you. I wasn't going to try to convince you of anything, I simply just wanted to be heard and also to hear what you had to say. You had asked me to let my guard down in the past, and this is part of me trying to do that. You know very well how hard that is for me to do but still I'm doing it because you had asked me to.
It's ok, I've made my assumptions already and have figured that you are back with your ex. You don't have to give me the "too busy with you're career" thing. One thing I've been with you, is honest, and that's all I ever wanted in return. I'm not angry or bitter, not at all. I always figured the possibility of this thing happening. You have history with him and a great little boy together. I always knew in the back of my mind that if it ever came down to it, I would never be able to compete with that. If you know me at all, you know that all I'd ever want for you and David (her son) is the best. I'm not saying that for any other reason except because I really wish that. But Tanya, one thing I can guarantee you is that despite however you try to justify it to yourself, remember this: David ( her son) will be happy only if he sees your happy too. When he gets a little older to understand better, then you will see how right I was about that. It felt like you were happy with me but then again I can't answer that for you. Anyway I didn't want to do this through text. There really is so much more I'd like to say but I guess this is the only option I have. Like I said, absolutely no grudges on my part. If at some point you ever have a change of heart You know I will be around for you and you know where to find me. Take care of yourself and your little guy too.
Me (this morning): I really needed to get this out, sorry. I won't bother you again if you don't want me to. I just find it really important to say this to you and it will eat me inside if I don't. I hope you can at least understand that. Here goes: I stopped talking to you before because it felt like you were cutting me off. I was upset and didn't understand why you would do that. Before that we always got along great and I couldn't make sense of how you were beginning to act. I refuse to believe that you weren't at the very least a little happy when we were together. I was happy with you. I want you to know that I Love You. Ok, I know I had only said that to you once before and it was stupid of me to not have said it to you more often., I realize that now. But I refuse to just lay down and die without a fight. I have no doubt that I can make you happy. If you want no part of it then I'll have no choice but to let you go. But I needed you to know that, for my own piece of mind. So at least just believe what I just wrote because it's absolutely true. Ok that's it.
Yesterday she deleted me as her friend on facebook. I find that very hurtful because it seems very childish and cold. She is acting like someone who I don't know. and I am rarely active on facebook regardless. What is she afraid I'll see on her profile?? There have been other girls I've dated in the past who still have me as their friend on there even after we stopped seeing one another.
So anyway I feel a bit better unloading some of my feelings to her but I'm still hurting. I guess I can understand in a way if she has gone back to her ex. I know there is a lot in between and an infant to bond them together. If that's the case I wouldn't feel as betrayed as if she began dating someone new instead and cut me off because of that. I guess I have a hard time dealing with someone who told me she loved me repeatedly acting like she never felt anything for me only two months later.
What do you think from all I've given you? Is she back with her ex or someone new? If it's with her ex, do you think she'll realize quickly all the reasons she left him for in the first place? It's my experience in life that people don't really change. Do you think the possibility exists that she'll contact me again because she misses me? I just want to know better where I stand and if I should pick up my life and try to move on. I'm 32 years old and I've dated a considerable amount of women in my life. I've had many break ups before. I can move on from them but I feel that this relationship was more significant to me.
Thank you again,