I'm sorry but I had to switch off chat, because the computer system wouldn't let me in after I waited 5 min. I also was not informed you were asking for me until I brought up the question. You were right and I was wrong from the gitgo about him. He's apparently unconsciously self-centered, since he's casting his fishingnet out wherever he can to make sure he gets a girlfriend as soon as possible. So he may well have been deeply hurt by his wife's rejection of him 10 or more years ago--and anybody who does not go into therapy to explore their past relationships is likely to do this stuff over and over again. He's like a "child of divorce" in that he doesn't want to feel abandoned ever again, so he keeps pursuing women (also rhymes with hunting quail) everywhere he goes and any port will do in a storm. So he grabs onto anybody who will have him, and then discovers shortly (1 to 6months) afterwards that she's NOT what he wants in a permanent partner ("who" is not the operative pronoun, because he's not picking her for Who she is but What she is) and dumps her, or she gets disgusted with him and flees first.
I'm sorry I campaigned for giving him the benefit of the doubt. But there are LOTS of men like him never work on increasing their self-awareness of their strengths & weaknesses & emotions involved in human relations, so they either just cut a swath through women whose personalities they don't know how to respect. Or they marry somebody and then treat her like she's the answer to their needs--but discover sometimes that she too has been abused & bruised by loving, so their 2nd (or later) marriage is a protracted wrestling match as each tries to get the other to change enough to make them both happy--and that is possible.
I said before that when you're as brand new to dating as you are, it would be a miracle if you didn't have to get hurt. [I once conducted an 8 hour workshop on comparing relationship histories among grad students of average age 50, and every one of them (incl myself) had established their 1st marriage or permanent partnership by finding somebody who was SAFE, as a refuge from the many prior loves they'd had in which they got hurt, usually more for women, because they got pursued much more than they needed to pursue and assert toward who THEY wanted.
Interesting that he passed the initial interview about being a good potential husband. But he ruins his chances by using deceit to keep plenty of replacement partners in his waiting room. I hope you let him know that you aren't going to be available to him anymore, no matter when he decides to try you out.
Of course a woman used to the bar scene might be used to the competition for "good men" who are vigorously playing the field. You never actually got the "first date" which is when I used to tell every woman I dated after age 30 that I would ONLY date exclusively, until one or both of us decided that long-term=marriage was not what we wanted with each other.
I suppose in hindsight, you could have let him know when he was flirting with a waitress that you're a "one-man woman" so any evidence that a man who's interested in you is playing the field is a complete turn-off--and then see if he was willing to shut himself down in your presence (@ least). He probably would not have done that, but then you'd have been rid of him much sooner. My demand for exclusivity saved me from several heartbreaks during my 30s, but didn't work to prevent others, because the women were not honest with me.
Come to think about it, the few that weren't honest were working on a rule that someone on this site called "Don't ask; don't tell" for "dating other people" at the same time. A man was writing about it because he didn't like it at all, but he really liked the woman. I would say to that that when a love partner keeps sneaking away and then coming back all full of love, the rollercoaster emotional effect can make such a relationship unusually INTENSE and ADDICTIVE, and that's VERY BAD for the person experiencing it, because it sets up an emotional pattern that fosters the somewhat delusional thinking that the relationship is bound to get bad and very hurtful many times, AND it's also bound to get very good some time after it gets bad. Once you get emotionally hooked on that pattern, you might as well be partnering up with an alcoholic or drug addict, or a serial cheater, and you could get drawn to future partnerships that generate the same emotional rollercoaster.
So perhaps you could add another question to your prescreening interview: "What do you think about the 'don't ask; don't tell' rule for dating relationships?" If the guy endorses or defends it, then ask him When Exclusive Dating Does Include New Ground-rules (just wordsmithing: acronym Wedding)--actually when he himself would want a commitment to exclusive dating. You'd get rid of the self-important players like your Desperate4Love Hunter through that little sub-section interview.
I think the majority of women in your age bracket (and mine in my 30s & early 40s) don't want just dating until somebody more exciting comes along, though many of the highly successful women with big bankrolls may like individual success better than marriage. They want a lifelong marriage, even if they have to raise high nuptial hopes and get very hurt when their chosen bridegroom turns out incompatible, or worse yet, turns out to have different romantic goals and methods.
I'm glad you wanted to let me know what happened. I guess another diagnostic question for the "screening interview" would be to ask about how the guy's divorce went--and be looking for more amicable and/or more complete separations