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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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My ex and i broke up 3 months ago. He left me and it was a

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My ex and i broke up 3 months ago. He left me and it was a very bitter breakup on both parts. We both said and did very hurtful things to each other. Anyways I am now in a relationship with a truly amazing man and am as happy as ever. My ex and i do not speak to each other which makes it kind of difficult on our friends ( we have all of the same friends. the man im with now is in the group of friends as well but was always just an acquaintance to my ex. They never liked each other or got along). Lately there have been a lot of birthdays going on and we've all been out celebrating at the bars for the past 3 weekends. Well yesterday was my ex's best friends birthday party. My bf now is very close to this guy as well. Well he asked my bf to come to his party but he asked him to not bring me because my ex is apparently very bitter about my bf and i being together and about me. My bf brought me out anyways lol. During the night my ex went up to him and told him he was happy for us and was happy that i'm happy ( he says this every time he sees my bf now and he only ever speaks to my bf. He's been nice but has also been mean even going as far to tell my bf that he never loved me and was just using me for sex even though we dated for 2 years). He told my bf about how many girls hes hooked up with and etc.

I just want to understand why he constantly goes up to my bf now to tell him he's happy for us. Even when his best friend told my bf that he's very bitter about him and i being together.
Hello. He is just trying to make himself feel better for the most part. You said that it was a bitter breakup and whatever baggage that was there, he obviously thinks about. While you have moved on and are happy, he certainly is not. If he has hooked up with girls and uses this to feel better about himself, then he has not reached true closure with your breakup. He probably isn't all that happy for you both and he is either upset about his own happiness or that he wants you to be as miserable as he is. He is attempting to be nice and polite when he goes up to your bf to tell him he is happy for both of you. He doesn't want to stir up any trouble and is trying to be the good guy. I know its difficult with all of the same friend circle you share, but try to move on and not think too much about your ex and his issues with your current relationship. You are happy and with a man who treats you well, and obviously doesn't care what others think about bringing you out ! Try to ignore your ex's actions. If you hear anything he has said, you can be sure he is saying things that he knows will get back to you and it is all just a game. If you let it bother you, he is winning. Congrats for finding a good man ! Stick with him!
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