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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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my ex were together on and off for 5 years, we have a two year

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my ex were together on and off for 5 years, we have a two year old daughter together. When i got together with him i knew he had been involved in some drug taking (mainly weed) and he knew i didn't like it so for me he promised to stop. I knew deep down that he never truly stopped and even though i didnt like it for the most part i let it go. When i got pregnant is when things got hard. There have been so many times that he has sabotaged our relationship by doing stupid things that have hurt me. He always says that he doesn't know why he does it and that deep down he feels i'm to good for him. So we have broken up a few times because of this, but somehow always find a way back to each other. Within the last year i had been feeling sad and depressed in our relationship manly for two reasons: i keep waiting for him to hurt me again and i'm tired of him not sorting his life out (he has no motivation to be stable on his feet, stop the drug and alcohol abuse etc), so i gave him an a choice to either work things out e.g. counselling or we just move on. Deep down i knew he wouldn't commit to seeing someone so he chose to end it. After breaking up i started getting the feeling that he was trying to move on with someone else and someone i told him not to move on with and i was right even though he tried to hide it. He was living at his mothers house and had to find a place because her youngest was coming home so he moved in with her because he couldn't get a lease on his own. Now he sees his daughter every weekend, but refuses to pay for child support, picks arguments with me all the time and when he thinks im moving on gets sooo mad about it. For example today was his day to see his daughter and i told him to txt me let me know if he was going to bring her home early because i might be going out, he lost it and even took the car seat with him so i couldn't go anywhere. I guess i just wont to know why he is doing this to me? It feels like he is manipulating me at times and as though he cares i'm moving on even though he has. Not that long before he moved out he was saying how pretty i was looking and that the thought of another man with me killed him yet he moved in with the other women. Does he still care? I know he is smoking heaps of pot with her etc i just dont know what is going on.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 4 years ago.
Hello. I'm sorry he is putting you through this. His behavior is completely unacceptable for a father. If he does not pay child support, you need to stop seeing him and take him to court to get it taken care of. While he is the father to your daughter and she has rights to see him, if he is going to act in such horrible ways, you need to get away from him as much as possible. This man has a controlling personality. He wants to control everything you do but not take any responsibility for his own actions. His lack of ambition in life has caused him to compensate by trying to take over other people's decisions. I would cut all ties with him other than his parental responsibilities. He needs to pay child support and you should try the legal mediation to get a court opinion on his visitation rights.
He feels as though you are his property and that he can do what he wants to, but you can't. This is a very dangerous situation. I recommend you do seek legal counsel and go from there. I wish you luck, I know this is not an easy situation, but you need to concentrate on your beautiful daughter and being the best mom you can possibly be.

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