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kerri, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 15
Experience:  Psychotherapist. Family & Couple Counsellor, Practical Parenting Advisor. Rapid assessment expertise.
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Is it unreasonable to choose my sons dog, over a boyfriend.

Customer Question

Is it unreasonable to choose my sons dog, over a boyfriend. Boyfriend doesn't like the dog. We have lived together since September. The dog has been in the trash 3 times. Has eaten his cookies once. And ate his fudge on Sunday. He wants me to rid of the dog.

I am choosing to keep the dog becuase of my sons feelings. He thinks I am choosing the dog over him. This may seem petty, but it has caused him to go back to his parents for a few days.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Bonnie replied 4 years ago.

I am sorry you find yourself in this dilemma. A child's relationship with a dog can be very strong. This would teach child that if you (dog) are naughty, you are cast out. What if the issue were son's behavior instead of dogs behavior (and it may be in the future). It seems that there should be a compromise that can be reached. I assume the dog was there before boyfriend. So when bf chose to move into your house, it was with knowledge that dog was part of the family. So I do not think it unreasonable to refuse to get rid of dog. But bf, as an adult, should be able to adjust to life with the dog. Maybe you can agree to limiting the dogs access to all areas of the house. This would be a compromise. It sounds like the kitchen is not a good place, for instance.

I hope this thinking helps in your decision-making.
Warm regards
Expert:  kerri replied 4 years ago.

Hello and Welcome. Please take your time to read and consider all replies as they are carefully structured with your best interests in mind.

Your decision should be based on the most relevant and important factors only and in your case, that is your son and the dog as they are an established part of your family. The boyfriend is not. Your son and his dog rely on you for the security and love you provide as the mother. The boyfriend does not. Therefore it is not unreasonable to choose your son's dog over the boyfriend. Your son and the dog probably have far more to give you in return. Give yourself credit for already having stood your ground in retrieving the poor dog from the trash. Hopefully your son and his dog will not have to be subjected to repeated episodes of cruelty and distress. Your decision might alleviate that possibility.