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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  Experienced in counseling all age persons on relationship issues.
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My boyfriend is very depressed. Couple of bad things happened

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My boyfriend is very depressed. Couple of bad things happened to him and he completely changed. i'm trying to be supportive but he changes mood so often. also he is very selfish and proud person. I don't know what to do... I don't know my position as well at the moment. Please help
Hello and thank you for using our service,

A few questions:
What do you mean by you do not know your position? Will he listen to your advice if you recommend treatment?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Not really... Plus he doesn't speak English
Hi again Diana,

Since he is depressed and his depression is causing his moodiness, treatment would be best. But I can see that the barriers to treatment are his reistance and language.

So, you are wondering what you can do to support him through this rough time...
When a partner is going through a rough time it is difficult and takes a lot of patience. You should not take things personally as he cannot help his moods. Ask him if he wants to be left alone during the moods.

There are many things that may help him other than treatment. You can provide or recommend these:
- reguar exercise;
- well-balanced diet;
- get outside into the sunshine;
- cognitive behavioral sef-help books (in his language, of course)
- St. John's Wart (a natural antidepressant)

You can help his mood but reframing the bad things that are happening.
In other words, if he is feeling like a failure: point out all his successes;

This is a popular self-help book: Ten Days to Self-Esteem.

Above all, take care of yourself and make sure that you are healthy enough to give him the support that he needs.

I hope that this helps,
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