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Thank you for checking on me. We met with a couselor last week and it was painful to have to rehash all these issues with another person. We left the session feeling worse than when we went in. But I know this is a work in progress. We are supposed to meet with her individually next week.
He has taken a few steps to make me feel better; he got his wedding ring sized so that he can wear it (he hasn't worn it for 10 years). He disabled his personal email accounts and he allowed me brief access into his bank account and social media accounts.
I can't say that any of that really helped because I still think he is avoiding the issue of why he needed all of this other stuff to begin with. I am having a really hard time not being mean and angry. My emotions are either angry, sad, or jealous. They seem to switch back and forth uncontrollably and I waffle between trying to work this out and just leaving him high and dry. I'm still very confused and hurt and it feels like the easiest way to relieve my pain would be to end my relationship. But I realize that is my pain talking. So am I better? No.