How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Cathy Your Own Question
Cathy
Cathy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1436
Experience:  Ms, MS.Ed., thirty years clinical practice
25773729
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Cathy is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I went out with a guy one time and Im not interested anymore

This answer was rated:

I went out with a guy one time and I'm not interested anymore and don't know how to break it to him.
We've been texting since and we only text, never call each other.
At the end of our 1st date, he didn't try to kiss me. I thought it was awesome that he didn't put a move on me. And I like him so much, he's a sweetheart and always has been. He used to work where I work, and now for another agency, but his job occasionally brings him back to work with people at my job. So I've known him a long time.
He's tried to go out with me again, but I've been busy as family came in to town, and then I was just trying to find a way to tell him I didn't want to go out anymore.
Also I just started texting another guy again that I've been very interested in, who has been responding and showing lots of interest.
Today the 1st guy said he was working with others at my job where the 2nd guy works. And I'm worried the two guys are going to somehow talk about me and there might be a disaster.
I'm considering breaking it off with the 1st guy by text but I'm afraid that might me disrespectful to him.

Cathy :

Hi and thanks for writing, are you there?

Customer:

Yes, hi

Cathy :

Nice to see you and thanks for writing

Cathy :

so I have read your post

Customer:

Thank you

Cathy :

and just have to ask you? why are you afraid to tell him that it is just a no go on your part?

Cathy :

what stops you?

Cathy :

hello

Cathy :

I think we got disconnected

Cathy :

are you there?

Customer:

He's just such a sweetheart, and we only text. And I'm so uncomfortable calling him to do it. I'm afraid of having to answer why. I like him alot and I think I'm not 100% sure of how I feel

Customer:

Sorry that took so long

Cathy :

oh my no problem I thought we had a glitch here at JA so no worries

Customer:

ok :)

Cathy :

so if you are not interested in him why dont you tell him that so he can find someone who is interested in him

Cathy :

you do not wish to hurt him but yet you are by not letting him go

Cathy :

am I right?

Customer:

Yes that's very true

Cathy :

shouldnt he be "free" to find someone who does like him?

Customer:

Yes, absolutely

Customer:

Ok I'll just do it

Cathy :

so let him go and understand that by holding onto him when you do not want him is a way of holding him from finding someone who does

Cathy :

Great

Cathy :

and it takes a lot of guts to do this

Cathy :

you sure?

Customer:

Yeah.

Customer:

Can I ask what you think about texting it?

Cathy :

Atta girl, classy

Cathy :

yep sure

Cathy :

he wants you and so far he does not KNOW that he does not have you so he is trying

Customer:

Ok. Yeah that's true

Cathy :

bless him, lusting after you and of course I know you are smart but he also probably knows you are also gorgeous, charming, etc

Cathy :

are you?

Cathy :

I am sure you are, right?

Customer:

Haha, of course, hehe

Cathy :

I get it.

Cathy :

I already knew you were very very smart.

Customer:

Lol you're awesome :)

Cathy :

But I am also sure you are an attractive young lady so you can imagine what he is thinking and yea I think the best policy is to be very very kind

Cathy :

and just let him go

Cathy :

be very kind please

Customer:

I wouldn't want to be anything but kind to him

Cathy :

Yep knew that about you. :)

Customer:

He's an absolute sweetheart

Cathy :

It will be fine. Just do what is hard to do and end it and absolutely let him know, in no uncertain terms that you think he is wonderful and a sweetheart. Absolutely let him know this while you are cutting that cord.

Customer:

Awwe I think that's really good advise. Thank you

Cathy :

He might very well become a good friend of yours and he might very well dance at your wedding when you do meet the right guy.

Cathy :

I wish you all the best. Smart cookie you are.

Cathy :

Night now.

Customer:

Awwe that would be so cool

Customer:

Thank you so much for your help

Cathy :

Yep I think so too. Night now smart one.

Customer:

You're pretty smart too :). Ok goodnight

Customer:

You're awsome

Cathy and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

Related Relationship Questions