When you began your question with, "am i going to stay with my husband", I got the impression that you may be seeking an answer from a psychic, so I can answer this for you, being a relationship expert and psychic advisor.
I see that you will be staying with your husband for the time being, but you seem to be living separate lives although you still live together as man and wife. When you said he does what he wants, this indicates to me that he has been involved with other women. I feel you have 'avenged' yourself by becoming close to other men, like Horst and Paul. I don't see your relationship with Horst amounting to anything anytime soon; something might happen there, but not for a while. You will only get to meet Paul if he is able to travel to see you or you are able to travel to see him.
I'm assuming you met Paul on the internet, since he is in Arizona. Just a word of caution re: internet relationships--be very careful what you say and what personal information you disclose to a virtual 'stranger'. There are many 'romance scams' out there, so don't provide any personal financial information, etc. to someone you meet on the internet and don't really know.
If you are seeing Horst in person because he lives near you, there's a chance something could develop, but as I mentioned, it will take a while.
Communication is the key to a successful marriage, so if you wish to remain with your husband and better your relationship, talk to him about the present situation and even suggest seeing a marriage counselor together. If he doesn't want to do that, and neither of you are happy, then you can either consider a divorce or continue along your separate paths, yet remain living together.
I agree with you that a full-time job will be helpful and this is the path you can pursue at the moment, so you feel more fulfilled and happier. I can guide you, but only you can make your own destiny.
I hope everything works out the way you want it to, and please don't hesitate to ask me any further questions at any time.
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