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LoveOneAnother, Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 33
Experience:  13 years experience working with individuals in various capacities including counseling, leading, and teaching.
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My question is this my bab made

Customer Question

My question is this my bab made 2 years old yesterday at chuch e cheese. The problem I am having is her dad showed up with hisnew gf after I told him not to. I basically told him not bring her because he needs to spind more time with his daughter alone, and everytime he makes arrangements with her he either don't show or call and nevefr keep to his word. I meet his gf before by accident at his mom house, but this event is for our daughter and doesnot need to have her there. This is the second girlfriend she has meet in her 2 years, and he told me he would then drop of the gifts and leave but instead he invited her an the told me the day of the party he would invite her and told him no. But he brought hrr anyway. I find that is no fair because I am careful around what men are aroundher, so why does he need to bring his gf everytime he gets one. I took it upon to talk to her and ask his girlfriend about there relationship and she told me they been together8 months, and plan on moving in soon. I tod hr okbecaus he has a tendency of moving in with his new girlfriend because he is not fiancil secure and does this often, and our agrement was not to intoduce her to random boyfriend and girlfriends soearly nt the relationship. I told her this to try to let her know i dont approve of the baby around if they just started dating. Any other suggestions n wto approach this? Was I wrong for talking to her after I talked to my baby daddy at the birhday party? I felt he has no respect for me and the baby and did what he wanted to do.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  LoveOneAnother replied 4 years ago.
Hi there,

You sound frustrated that he introduces his girlfriends to your daughter when there is a possibility that he will not stay with them, especially looking at his past track record.

I agree with your approach. Young children need stability in their lives and it's difficult for them to keep adapting to people who are there one minute and gone the next.

After you told her your agreement, what happened? What does she think of this?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

she told me that she is a mother and a grand mother, and that he is living on his own because he needs to learn fianicial reaponsibilty and they will soon move in together, She also said thatey been together 8 months now, but personally I saw him on a dating site looking around and that;s how we meet. it does not look as anything has changed on his side. She told me she is very apporachable and she doe snot live far from me, and if i need help just let her know. Personally, I think she is this way to show a good side to her bf, she said she brough the clothes for the baby as well.

Expert:  LoveOneAnother replied 4 years ago.
Perhaps clear boundaries, wishes, and expectations need to be reestablished with your boyfriend and the girlfriend. Your thoughts?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
By saying what
Expert:  LoveOneAnother replied 4 years ago.
Perhaps - I'd like to talk about some limits that we have discussed before in regards to visitation of the baby. Then, you can say whatever you want in regards to what limits you want.

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