I am 38 and she is 25 and divorced with one and a half years
old child. We met at...
I am 38 and she is 25 and divorced with one and a half years old child. We met at my office, when she and her former husband came to me seeking for legal advice with regard to their divorce. Their break up was nasty, since her husband kept abusing her throughout their marriage.
We have been in love for 6 months. From October until early February she was in her hometown settling some legal and financial issues. During that time, I visited her twice and while we were away we talked on Skype 3-4 hours a day. Our communication was perfect, so was our relationship, we had a great time and we confessed our feelings to one another. We were happy and madly in love with one another. I helped her settle her legal and financial issues, free of charge of course, and she is grateful for it. Our plan was for her to return where I live,so we can be together. It is also easier here to find a job. We agreed that moving together in such a short notice after her divorce was kind of premature.
So she came and we found a house for her and her child. The next thing on the list was to help her find a job, since I happen to know some people . Last week, we had an argument, which I assumed full responsibility for. What happened was that I got very upset when she cancelled our date the last minute, saying that a friendly couple was coming unexpectedly for a visit. It was going to be our first fun night out after she moved and after such a long time that we were apart.
Soon after the argument we had, I texted her apologising for my behaviour but expressing my complaints for not telling her friends to come for a visit the next day. She wrote back that I was being pussy and that she didn't want us to go out that night. I tried calling her, but she wouldn't pick up the phone. I even asked from her to answer the phone as a favour to me. I wanted to end our quarrel and apologise verbally as well. She replied that she didn't want to and that I was being pushy-again. The next day I wrote another apologising text, in which I reminded her how badly we were longing all this time for the moments we could be together and also invited her out whenever she felt like it. She didn't reply. I neither called, nor texted her until last Saturday, when I wrote her wishing her happy birthday, since it was her birthday. She thanked me and wrote that we should go out for a cofffe one of the next days, since we needed to talk-that's what she wrote.
I agreed and invited her for a drink the next day. She showed up 45 min. late for the date. Out of nowhere she said that she didn't want a relationship and wanted us to be "friends", go out, get drunk, have fun and we take it from there. When I asked her whether she could see me as her friend she said "no". After the end of our date and before we parted, I could tell that she wanted a hug, so I gave her one.
The next day she wrote me that she had a wonderful time with me. I wrote back saying that I am happy for it.
After what she said during our date, I assumed that she needed her time and space, so I did not contact her. Last Wednesday, she called me on the phone and asked whether I had made any contacts regarding jobs. I said to her that the two hotel owners I knew and were going to give her a job were on a business trip abroad and were coming back on Friday, that is today. I suggested that we meet in my office and call them from there, so that she could directly speak with them. She said that she couldn't promise me that, since she would be very busy looking for a job. I replied that since she could not find the time to see to important matters regarding her future, neither could I. She wrote me that she expected such a reply from me.... I wrote her that she needed to be there in order to make the proper arrangements directly with them and that I am sorry if she couldn't understand that. She replied that she neede to keepr her dignity for herself and the her child. When I read this, it occurred to me that she implied that I wanted something in exchange for my "services". Wrote her that this was unacceptable and how could she ever think such a thing, since I never asked anything in return for all the things I did for her and told her that what she thought of me was sick and showed a person which is mentally deranged,considering her unjustly bad behaviour towards me as well .
She apologised by saying that she was confused, disheartened because she couldn't find a job and that her self-esteem was lowered due to the abuse she had suffered from her husband throughout their wedding. She said that she thanked me for everything I did for her and that she would maybe regret for the way she treated me the past few days once she found herself again and promised to contact me. I wrote her that I didn't need her regret or anything from her. Questions: 1.What do you think really happened? 2.Should I find her a job, after the way she treated me? 3.Should I end the relationship?