Hi Karin Samms,
Sorry if i write to you again, ive realized something really important. The reason why i was stuck.
When we got back together, we almost had sex in the beginning ''almost'' and that quickly made my ex boyfriend distant. He went too far and regret it. Well, i became very clingy and obsess with him because i felt his distance after the second date we had. I felt something wrong is his behavior. I wasn't showing him the cute person from the begging that he knew. I became insecure when i felt the distance and i was right because he told me that i wasn't important for him after what we did. I was showing a fragile side of me.
He start talking to his ex girlfriend about our issues... that we went too far and that he wasn't sure about us. He wasn't calling me, i was always the one chasing him. Then i became anxious and felt something really wrong... when his ex gf start to not mind her business. He did nothing to chase her, i thought that he was cheating on me...but he said no..
I told him why i was acting like that, i think that i became too fragile because i sacrifice a lot of my time (10 months) to come back with him and still i wasn't getting the relationship what we had before. Things were great between us when we got back together, he wasthe same loving person, he was very caring towards me the first day and then after we almost had sex..(because he brings me to his room was persistent he became distant.
My ''fragile'' behavior also ruins the way he perceived me and that was another reason why he felt like i wasn't attractive. I think that neither of us was ready to come back together. Things went bad and he left me after 2 weeks for 10 months of efforts... after 2 weeks...
I regret what we did and i regret that i showed him my weaknesses. I showed him a weak side of me besause i was anxious, i really loved him and attached importance to our relationship but things were weird. I understand now why it was that easy for him to move on, he was disgusted. I'm not weak... i feel like i left a false picture of ''who im not'' Im not weak, i was the same person but circumstance made me that way.
I know that i should have not act that way because he will always think about the ''weak me''. That's my regret, when he lefted me, i start to feel better and healthier. I wasn't healthy psychologically and emotionally because ive made him the center of my life for 10 months and support a lot. I regret it because it wasn't the good timing to get back together and i wish things didn't ended that bad. The first relationship was perfect because i was okay and i felt good.