I apologize about the wait.
I think your insight into the women that you will find on the dating sites is very good. Instead of just avoiding women who are divorced that are looking for a "serious relationship or marriage," I would recommend avoiding all women looking for this type of relationship. As we discussed before, you are still emotionally committed and grieving the loss of your girlfriend. If you find a companion and the time is right, there is a chance that it might develop into something more, but only when you are ready to move the relationship to the next level.
As far as things to do, please bear with me here since I do not have any idea of what you like or dislike.
1. This looks interesting for something to do an Valentine's Day that is not the traditional "find someone to love: type of thing http://www.scout.me/valentine's-day-snowshoe-hike-for-singles--near--kerhonkson-ny/e-19519170 .
2. Barnes and Nobel has several different book discussion group. There are a good way to meet people who share common interests with you.
3. Different classes and workshops are a good way to meet people who also share common interests.
I think the key for you is to avoid the "meat market" kind of bar or singles scene. Most of the time, people wind up meeting the "wrong type" and it is a great deal of drama and wasted time.
Please let me know if I have answered your question. If so, please accept my answer and rate my service.