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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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I am back with my ex. We have very good chemistry, but very

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I am back with my ex. We have very good chemistry, but very little in common. She has abrupt mood swings, but we are very compatible sexually. She's an extrovert and wants to spend tons of time texting and hanging out with me, but I like my own company and hanging out tends to wind me up. Because of this, I find myself looking forward to our time together less and less. I broke her heart last time, and I really want to make it work with her, but there just seems to be so much in the way. I have no idea what to do...

I would like to help. Did you break up before for the same reasons? How long have you been together this time and last?

I will await your response.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

These reasons were contributing factors, but a big thing in our last breakup was our families causing friction and interfering as well as living 4.5 hours away from each other. This time, neither of our families are really involved and I've transferred to a university in her area. Last time we were together for about 6 months. We've been together for about a month and a half this time.

Hi Ben,

Thanks for explaining. I understand what you are going through and understand how it can be a difficult decision as to where to go from here. It seems like you both had a few obstacles in the past that you both were able to overcome. This is a good sign and shows that you both are willing to do what it take to make the relationship work. However, people do change. The differences of each of your personalities can be what is causing this problem now to increase. There is also the factor that you both have not even been together very long even combining both times you were together. It takes time to get to know another person. Usually after the" honeymoon" phase is when ones true personality comes out since in the beginning everyone is trying to please one another, so they are on their best behavior.

At this point it is best to think about if you are happy with her. I understand you do not want to hurt her, but you are hurting her more if you stay without being happy. Try and weigh out the pros and cons to determine if you should stay or go. Maybe give it another few weeks to see how things go and how you feel. You also may want to discuss the changes and differences, so you both can be on the same page and nothing becomes a surprise.

Please let me know if I can be of further help and I wish you the best.

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