Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship
This answer was rated:

Hi Jen, Please read the paragraph below - this is what Im

Hi Jen, Please read the paragraph...
Hi Jen,
Please read the paragraph below - this is what I'm going to tell him, although because I will do it in my own words without reading it, there will be slight variations:

"Someone I know asked to see that Birthday card I made for you. So I forwarded it to him. I didn’t expect that he will pick your email address there and use it. I asked to see what he sent you but he wouldn’t show me. But now I am more concerned about how he stole your email address and used it than being concerned on what he sent you. I should have cut the thread of email. But I wasn’t expecting he would do anything like that. I’m telling you this because I want you to know that I do not give out people’s information to others especially yours. I apologize, I did not mean for him to you’re your information just like that. He knows I was upset with what he did. My feelings are sacred to me and I don’t want it tampered or anything. If what he did upset you or anything, I really am sorry. That’s all, will you forgive me?"
[Maybe I will tease him and will say:]
"What can I do for you to forgive me? Maybe I can come to your house and clean your bedroom, do your laundry or give you a massage . . ." lol.
If there is any sentence that should not be said, please let me know. I will talk to him from the heart so this is not exact. If you have any additions or revisions, please let me know. Thanks.
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 4 hours by:
1/6/2013
Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,386
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
Verified
Hi,

I think what you wrote sounds good and from the heart. I would not change anything except for maybe instead of "what can I do for you to forigve me" maybe say "what can I do to make it up to you". But either one would be fine.

Just something I thought about maybe I mentioned it already in the past and forgive me if I did, but is there any chance that your friend was messing with you and never really did email Kent, so Kent knows nothing. Is there any chance of that?

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 4 years ago


Thanks, Jen. "What can I do to make it up to you?" sound a lot better. Thank you so much.


 


Regarding my friend Walter, he said "He knows that you like him, a little birdie told him." I said "You can't tell him, you don't know his number." He said: "I have his email address, remember?" When I asked him "I need to see what you wrote him." He won't show me what he wrote. He was mad at me because I was upset at him and said that he did nothing wrong. He just want to end my stress, if Kent would know then I will get my answer whether Kent feels the same way or not. My senses tell me that he really sent Kent an email. The next time, I asked Walter again what he said, he said what he wrote was "She liked you for a long time now and if you REALLY like her, ask her out on a date."


That point I realize that Walter wasn't kidding, that he really sent the email to Kent.


Regarding Walter, I stopped talking to him. He started to tell me that he is so lonely and wants me. I started to think over the past conversations with him, he said I was cute and asking why I like Kent and why not him whose eyes look normal. He told me many times that I should stop wasting time with that jerk. I am worried now that Walter might sabotage the situation between me and Kent.


To answer your question, I believe Walter actually sent an email. But because he won't show me, he must have said other things. Not sure, so it will be perfect to tell Kent that Walter stole the email address and maybe tell Kent that I don't communicate to Walter anymore.

Yes, I think it is best to do that. Anyway you will be covering your end.

It does sound like Walter really sent the email, but since you told me XXXXX XXXXXkes you I was thinking what if he never sent the email and told you he did because he wants you to think Kent never asked you out in response to Walter's emails, so you will think he doesn't like you then you may consider Walter. Just a thought. Or maybe like you said he said other things to sabotage and that is why he doesn't want to show you.

Either way it is best to clear your end with Kent and you may even get some answers in regards XXXXX XXXXX the email said. Anyway Kent will see you had nothing to do with it and sorry for letting him see the email. You have a good plan.
Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,386
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
Verified
Jen Helant and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 4 years ago


Kent came to our office today. I told him about what Walter did, although I just said "someone" I did not tell Kent the name. I wasn't gonna tell him but he asked about it. I decided not to, but because he asked about it, I have to tell him. I asked that we go outside, there's a part of the building where there's no people. So I started telling him but I got nervous and I forgot a lot of the details. All I said: "There is someone I showed your birthday card to but he stole your email address and sent you something. I asked him to show me what he sent you but he wouldn't. show me I don't really care what he sent you or whether he really sent you something or not, all I want to tell you right now is that I don't give people's information to others. I'm sorry, it's partly my fault because I should have cut the thread of the email but he took your address from there and must have sent you something."


Kent said that a lot of people has his email, so he doesn't really care and he didn't really receive anything.


We talked about it a little bit more, he was talking about receiving "cookies" but doesn't really recall getting anything.


I said it was a "little" reckless of me, but I wasn't expecting he would do that. Kent said "don't worry about it." And he smiled and I smiled, I was so happy, I hugged him and he hugged me back.


I don't remember what else we talked about, we hugged the second time for a longer period. I didn't want to let him go, but I woke up my senses and released him. It's interesting that the longer I held him the longer he did held me.


Because he already said everything is okay, I did not tell him about the "I will make it up to you" part. Now, thinking about it, I should have said that. I will still use that dialogue next time. I really want to see his reaction when I say that part. You might be right about Walter not really sending him anything, or he ignored it because he does not recognize the sender or it went straight to junk mail.

Wow that seemed to go very well. That hug seems like a HUGE step in the direction where you want to be going. Seems you are luring him little by little, so your plans are working. These two hugs definitely crossed the lines of just business associates. No let's see how he proceeds, but I am so happy for you that you have gotten some reaction out of him. Sounds like he is probably insecure within himself to believe you like him as much as you do.

The email issues itself turned out well whatever the reason. Good thing it did not get to him regardless the reason even though he would have let it go anyway probably.

Do you have any new plans or are you just planning to see if Kent will take any initiative now?
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 4 years ago


If you recall from the beginning, I have plans to (1) help him in his bookkeeping, (2) join any clubs with him or whichever he is already on, etc. (3) to be his friend and assist him with his needs, sometimes he's got no time to just drop off a "network server unit" to a place. I can do those (4) Be his secretay/assistant. You know a lot of bosses married their secretaries, bec guys like it when the woman is submissive to them and not trying to be equal to the men or even worse trying to dominate.


Tax season is coming up, I will ask him if he will need any help organizing his receipts for his expenses then along the way as we get really very comfortable with each other, I will talk about clubs or organizations he is in and I can join or we can join together - the ones with activities like hiking, biking, travel, etc. or anything we could do together outside of business. Do you know any clubs? We'll not sure we're you're from, we're both in Orange County, Southern California.


See, the 4 options above can be done step by step. When he agrees to get help from me with his receipts, I can slowly be his assistant and secretary and he will be dependent on me.


I mentioned to you before, when I flirt in the emails (business emails) he does not really respond? But when I sent him flirting message from my personal email, he answers back.


Today, (or yesterday), he was trying to be away from me in the office - when we were laughing about something, I tried to touch his shoulder and he kind of leaned away from me to avoid my hand. I was a little insulted but I hope it's only because we're in the office. What do you think?


He could have not hugged me back and not prolonged the second hugging if he does not want to lead me on, but when we were alone together, he was all on me. I'd like to think it that way.

I remember and think that is a good plan. I do think he backed away due to being in the office just as he doesn't answer the business emails. He could be afraid to be unprofessional or lose his business with the company. Also, his actions are different in private such as with the private emails and especially the hugs. Also, we now know that he never received the email therefore he was not ignoring that email or not wanting to ask you out. Those doubts now can be removed. I also agree with you that I don't see why he would have prolonged that hug if he was not interested.

I can do some research for you to look for some clubs in your area.
Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,386
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
Verified
Jen Helant and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask Jen Helant Your Own Question
Jen Helant
Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,386
1,386 Satisfied Customers
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.

Jen Helant is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,706 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

426 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

336 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
Can I email my fiancee's boss to stop giving my fiancée
Can I email my fiancee's boss to stop giving my fiancée personal advice about our relationship if it's hurting our relationship?… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
Master's Degree
1,706 satisfied customers
I was wondering after I gave advice and my attitude, heart
I was wondering after I gave advice and my attitude, heart and soul, poured into this how do I go about getting another present that as good as you… read more
Rosemary S.
Rosemary S.
Master\u0027s Degree
7 satisfied customers
The man I a dating says he wants to take a time out. He does
The man I a dating says he wants to take a time out. He does feel an emotional bond He says he does not know if is me or he might have Asperger S. He has After 6 months he has never sais he likes me N… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
167 satisfied customers
Thank you for your response about my relationship. I do
Thank you John for your response about my relationship. I do understand what you are saying and I have decided to give him space. He told me yesterday that he thinks he needs some space because he isn… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
167 satisfied customers
My boyfriend kicked me out of the apartment because he found
Hi, my boyfriend kicked me out of the apartment because he found out that I was meeting with a guy friend of mine to talk. I didn't tell him I was meeting up with him and he found out because he track… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
167 satisfied customers
Was speaking to this guy on Facebook and Snapchat and I
Hey I was speaking to this guy on Facebook and Snapchat and I stupidly deleted him because I was going through a lot and took it out on him but I added him back and he hasn't deleted me again I have s… read more
Rosemary S.
Rosemary S.
Master\u0027s Degree
7 satisfied customers
Ongoing relationships with a man who really doesn't care
Hello, ongoing relationships with a man who really doesn't care about me, even though he thinks he does!! … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
951 satisfied customers
I'm having a real issue. I just ended my engagement at the
I just ended my engagement at the end of July and moved away. When I ended the engagement I was on anti-depressants. We remained friends and then one day he said he didn't want to talk anymore and didn't want to text and didn't want to see each other anymore. It threw me for a loop but I was okay with it. I am coming off of Paxil and starting something new. And now it feels as if I'm having feelings I didn't know I had. I wonder if I made the wrong decision. And now he won't answer my calls my texts nothing. I've known him since 7th grad and we got engaged at 35 to each other. Our relationship was very passionate. The highs were so high and the lows so low. I miss him. It's my birthday today and the first one I have spent without him and he won't answer my calls or emails. I know this sounds like a stalker but we were engaged for god's sake. I'm not just some one night stand. And now I'm thinking because I was on an antidepressant I made the worst decision of my life. I am highly emotional right now and so very depressed … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
167 satisfied customers
You helped me before and I would like your advice again. I
This is for Therapist Mary Ann Hi Mary Ann, You helped me before and I would like your advice again. I will give you a lot of history in a nut shell for you to understand.Me: raised by my mother she h… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
Master's Degree
1,706 satisfied customers
I went on a date with this really great guy. We really hit
I went on a date with this really great guy. We really hit it off so well that I made the mistake of sleeping with him. Afterwards, he still seemed very interested from calling, texting, and wanting t… read more
Rosemary S.
Rosemary S.
Master\u0027s Degree
7 satisfied customers
My ex and I of 2 YRS broke up in the beginning of Sept (she
My ex and I of 2 YRS broke up in the beginning of Sept (she broke up with me because she said I wasn't who I used to be ans i created doubt in her mind about us). A week after we broke up she started … read more
Rosemary S.
Rosemary S.
Master\u0027s Degree
7 satisfied customers
Seven months ago, I got dumped by a man I consider my
Seven months ago, I got dumped by a man I consider my soulmate. It's been the most painful breakup I've ever experienced. Even though we were only together a little over a year, we had a very deep con… read more
Rosemary S.
Rosemary S.
Master\u0027s Degree
7 satisfied customers
I have a question about something that keeps coming up, and
I have a question about something that keeps coming up, and perhaps I need a males perspective… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
167 satisfied customers
I dreamed last nignt in black an, that the man that i
hello i dreamed last nignt in black an white , that the man that i secretly love was combing my hair. i was sitting on the floor my head on his lap , he had a black com and he was so gentle combing an… read more
DreamsBySue
DreamsBySue
Social Worker
Masters Degree (MSW)
68 satisfied customers
My husband and I have been together for 5 years and married
My husband and I have been together for 5 years and married just under a year. We have lived together for 3 years. I have 2 children from a previous marriage and he has 2 children from a previous marr… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
167 satisfied customers
My husband, toddler & I moved in with my in-laws house, in
My husband, toddler & I moved in with my in-laws house, in husbands home “village” after independent city life since graduating as a pharmacist 20+ years ago. I was a high achiever in everything I did… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
951 satisfied customers
Our 16 yr old grandaughter who always was close to us told
Our 16 yr old grandaughter who always was close to us told us we are a distraction to her now. We don't know how to talk to her because she only likes to txt and everything we say seems to be the wron… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
167 satisfied customers
Dispair! My 12 yo step-daughter repeatedly takes things that
Dispair! My 12 yo step-daughter repeatedly takes things that do not belong to her (my old cell phone, several of my rings, neighbor girl's shoes) and lies about it. Like one of the other readers, she … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
167 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x