Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship
This answer was rated:

This is for Dr. Paige....Hello, I have been out on three dates

This is for Dr. Paige....Hello...

This is for Dr. Paige....Hello, and Happy New Year! I have been out on three dates with the lady I told you about, everything is going well with, but i have a new addition to add to the equation: I have made friends with one of Cindy's exes..we talk and have compared notes about her and the way she treated us both. Cindy has been trying to call me, three times in past couple days..I sent her a txt msg asking if she was trying to call that I was busy at work..she sent txt msg back saying yes. I did not respond, so next morning I received a txt msg from her saying :"I forgive you, and I love you and I just want you to be happy". She forgives ME?? For caring and wanting to know that she was ok? And of course, for contacting her friend...please,,,,,,Now, it is obvious that she is trying to pull me back into her little orbit, but I told the other guy that I made friend's with about it and he is afraid I will let her suck me back in. I do still care about her but do not want to go back to the same old lies and game playing. She is pulling on my heart strings, I still love her but another friend said, don't contact her, she is crazy...I am confused on what to do because if I thought she has changed and is ready for a normal, good relationship with me, I would be willing to give it a try again with her. I have had a few, you included, that said they think she is Bi-polar and probably borderline personality. I have had less stress without her around, but I can't help but still have feelings and wonder if it would be worth giving it a try once more. I remember you telling me that no contact for awhile would be best. This is the first contact since Sept. 29 when we had the disagreement about my calling a friend of hers to check on her and her getting upset over. I really did not expect her to ever contact me again. My feelings for her are still there, but very shy about going back. I don't know if I should open communication back up with her and what to say if I do. Help!

Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 5 hours by:
1/5/2013
Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,427
Experience: Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
Verified
Hello. Happy New Year! I would suggest letting her go! You already know what is going to happen with her. She is pulling you back in because that is her game. If things are going well with this new woman, keep looking forward, not back ! I would suggest cutting the contact with her until you are well on your way to not having any feelings for her at all. Think about what would happen if you gave it another go. You would lose your new girl, you would take a few steps back that took you awhile to get past. You would get sucked back into her personality issues, you would be even more pissed at yourself for doing it and all of this time would be wasted on another lesson.
IF you are aware of all of these things and you still want to go for it, then by all means, follow your heart, but listening to your head is probably the better way to go here. That's just my opinion :)
Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,427
Experience: Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
Verified
Dr. Paige and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 5 years ago

I know you are right, I had to hear it from a pro... ;) Did I mention that the lady I am now dating knows Cindy, and their friendship ended because of Cindy's personality issues? She is aware that Cindy has contacted me again and we both know that we would neither feel comfortable seeing each other if I go back to Cindy. Likewise if she starts her friendship back with her. Cindy is not even aware yet that she helped bring us together. :) She does not know that we have been seeing each other. We both are "healthy" in that we both realize the stupid games she plays, whether it be friendship or dating. The other one who is Cindy's ex is also worried that I will cave, and I admit, right before I wrote you last night I almost did. I feel like you saved me from making what probably would be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Thank you

This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Customer reply replied 5 years ago

I haven't caved..yet. Lol The new lady and I have been on four dates now and I have noticed that she has been finding excuses to not see me. I finally kept asking questions and pushed her buttons. When I try to ask her out almost a week in advance she always has something else already planned. I finally asked her to tell me what was it that was making her not want to see me. She replied that she is not wanting to date right now, it is not comfortable to her and said it has nothing to do with me.. I asked her if it was because of this and that..(trying to analyze it in my mind)..she finally sent me a message that this type of conversation is a big reason that she is not interested. Said she does not owe anyone an explanation and if I keep pushing it the chance of a friendship will be out as well....Ouch. How should I reply to that? Should I leave her alone and say nothing?

This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Customer reply replied 5 years ago

At least I finally got her to tell me what the problem is..:) She is very independent and I am wondering if she will ever want to date me again. She did tell me that there is someone who she used to date that has recently broke up with someone and said she still loves 'em and she implied that they may see each other again but that she did not think it would lead to a relationship. So, I can't help but wonder if she is starting to see them again. I know, there I go analyzing again,,geez..It is driving me bananas not knowing what is really going on with her and asking her anything is driving her bananas..If things don't work out with her I just might contact Cindy again.

This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Ask Dr. Paige Your Own Question
Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,427
1,427 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist

Dr. Paige is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,720 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

338 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
Before I was officially dating my boyfriend I was flirting
Before I was officially dating my boyfriend I was flirting with another guy while I was talking to my current boyfriend. I never told him and tried to hide it. Now he knows and is questioning my trust… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
Is my gf avoidant attachment type or secure... or a little
Is my gf avoidant attachment type or secure... or a little of each? Im an insecure anxious attachment type for sure.... i always need reassurance and stuff from my gf... my gf in the beginning was alr… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
We are not dating but I've known him for 15 years, we met at
We are not dating but I've known him for 15 years, we met at work I thought he was good looking we hit it off as friends. He had me staying over his place a lot, then I found out he was gay/bi I start… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My question is about a possible beginning to a relationship.
Hello this is Brian, my question is about a possible beginning to a relationship … read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
Is it normal for your boyfriend to constantly have his ex
Is it normal for your boyfriend to constantly have his ex girlfriend come over to visit even though you tell him to it really bothers you… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
My girlfriend of 10 years suddenly broke up. I have
My girlfriend of 10 years suddenly broke up. I have chirldren with a previous partner and we still keep the family house and gather. But my family has not accepted my new partner 'although she is ever… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Boyfriend of 1 year newly divorced from unhappy 30+year
Boyfriend of 1 year newly divorced from long unhappy 30+year marriage told me he keeps thinking bout old girlfriend and how he has always wondered about her and how/where she is. … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
A few weeks ago I received a message from a guy that I dated
Hi. A few weeks ago I received a message from a guy that I dated very casually before he moved about 1 ½ years ago to California from Ohio & since then we really didn't stay in touch. So I was a bit s… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My wife goes to a high-end restaurant bar / restaurant on a
My wife goes to a high-end restaurant bar / restaurant on a Sunday for brunch, She start 3 hours and gets rather trashed with her alcoholic Mother of which we do not like each other. Keep in mind that… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Not sure how to move on from this if he cant trust me. Ok,
not sure how to move on from this if he cant trust me. Ok, My boyfriend and I and my two teenage daughters live together. I gave him the consent to record my daughter because we were trying to catch h… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I've never been in a real relationship and it just seems
I've never been in a real relationship and it just seems like I can't get any woman to like me or want to date me. I want to know how I can approach women and get dates? I'm really all about chivalry … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I have a problem i need an advice I met a man after really
Hello , i have a problem i need an advice I met a man after really hard time of separation with my husband . This man is separated too but he still in contact with his wife because of the kids ..any h… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I would like to know something. My wife of 35 yrs received a
my wife of 35 yrs received a very intimate necklace fro m anoth er women and she told her she was drawing inspiration from her just by wearing it what does that mean … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Mine is a pretty tricky but story. So I met this guy on
Hi Debra, Mine is a pretty tricky but long story. So I met this guy on Tinder, he was lovely. Our first date was amazing... we spoke for three weeks 24/7 before actually meeting up. There was an insta… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I have trouble getting along with my husband. We has mood
I have trouble getting along with my husband. We has mood swings. He is about to start a new job at a branch of Verizon (used to work at another branch) so we were talking in the car and he said he ha… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
My boyfriend and I fought over him maybe talking to his ex,
My boyfriend and I fought over him maybe talking to his ex, I kept texting him till he said leave me alone and then broke up with me.. can I get him back … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months and I love
me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months and I love him dearly, well on Tuesday something happened when I was texting one of my guy friends I didn't physically cheat on him, and there was no … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have a new man in my life I have been dating for about 6
Jen, I have a new man in my life I have been dating for about 6 weeks. We see each other twice a week. He deeply cares for me and loves me. I also have love for him. I struggle with his immaturity. So… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x